Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Here graph is given which shows number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between the year 1960 to 2020. Four sectors include Manufacturing, Retailing, Agriculture and Healthcare.

Graph is given with jobs in millions on vertical side and year on horizontal side. If we consider manufacturing , jobs in year 1960 to 1980 are increased and then after 1980, there is decreament in number of jobs. In retailing, number of jobs are increased continiuosly from year 1960 to 2000 and then this remains constant till year 2020. Agriculture sectors shows that number of jobs are continiously rising from year 1960 to 2020. Number of jobs in Healthcare sector are continiously declined from year 1960 to 2020.

From this graph and overall information that is given in graph, we conclude that number of jobs in retailing and agriculture are rising as compared to manufacturing and healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.5

The response identifies the four sectors and attempts to describe their trends, but several central features are reported incorrectly. Agriculture did not rise: employment fell from about 6 million to 2 million, while healthcare rose from about 2 million to 16 million. Retail jobs increased to around 15 million by 2000 and then rose slightly, rather than remaining constant. The final comparison therefore reverses the main pattern, and there is no accurate overview of the leading changes or relative levels. The response also contains 137 words, below the required 150, which limits the opportunity to select and report the key information. Include accurate figures and a concise overview before describing the individual trends.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic, understandable structure: an introduction, a paragraph describing the sectors, and a concluding sentence. The sequence from manufacturing to retail, agriculture and healthcare gives the reader a simple route through the information. However, the description is largely a list of separate statements, and the conclusion repeats a broad comparison rather than drawing together the actual main features. Linking phrases such as “If we consider” and “From this graph” are repetitive or mechanical, and the paragraph does not group related trends—for example, the rising sectors could be compared together. Organise the body around clear comparisons and use linking language to show contrast and change over time.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses enough basic topic vocabulary to communicate the subject, including “number of jobs,” “sectors,” “increased” and “declined.” However, the range is limited and several expressions are repetitive or imprecise, such as “jobs in year” and “overall information that is given in graph.” There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “decreament” and “continiuosly,” which reduce accuracy. More precise trend language would help distinguish a steady rise, a fall, and a plateau; in this chart, for instance, retail employment rose slightly after 2000 rather than remaining constant. Practise accurate spelling and use varied, natural phrases for describing figures and comparisons.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response communicates its basic meaning, and it attempts some longer sentence forms, particularly in “If we consider manufacturing, jobs in year 1960 to 1980 are increased and then after 1980…” However, the range is limited, and errors in tense, agreement, articles and sentence construction occur frequently. Examples include “Here graph is given,” “jobs … are increased,” and “number of jobs are increased”; these should use more natural structures such as “The graph shows…” and “the number of jobs increased.” The final sentence, beginning “From this graph and overall information,” is also awkwardly constructed. Use past-tense verbs consistently for the historical data, check singular/plural agreement, and practise combining accurate simple sentences with controlled comparisons.

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