Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the information about the number of employment in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare sector in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is clear that the number of jobs in manufacturing was height. While, helthcare department had lowest number of jobs in the initial period. However, the number of jobs in Retail and helthcare sector were increased dramatically and employment in manufacturing decreased slightly by the end of the period. Therefore, in agriculture sector, number of vacancies was at bottom.

In 1960, Almost 15 million jobs are available in manufacturing field, compared to around 2 million in helthcare and about 6 million jobs in Retail and Agriculture sector. The number of jobs were increased to 20 million in manufacturing by 1980. Helthcare and Retail also experienced a growth to approximately 5 million and 10 million. While , Agriculture fell to around 3 million.

Furthermore, from 1980 to 2000, the figure of Helthcare and Retail section climbed to about 11 million and 15 million. Agriculture sector remained stable till 2000 and drop marginally by half an million .Whereas, the number of jobs in manufacturing was decreased to approximately 13 million by 2020. In addition, the number of employment in Helthcare and Retail field accounted for almost 16 million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and provide a relevant overview, identifying manufacturing as the leading sector initially and noting the growth in retail and healthcare alongside agriculture’s decline. Most figures are consistent with the graph, including manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980 and healthcare and retail reaching around 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is not fully clear: manufacturing was not simply “height” throughout, since retail and healthcare caught up by the end. The final paragraph also says manufacturing fell to 13 million “by 2020” without reporting its 2000 level of about 17 million, and agriculture’s small final fall is described unclearly. Make the overall ranking changes and key stages more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear basic structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs presenting figures in chronological order. This makes the main progression easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In 1960,” and “Furthermore” help signal the stages. To make the organisation more effective, group related trends more consistently and avoid connectors that interrupt the sentence flow. For example, “While , Agriculture fell” is awkwardly punctuated, and “Therefore” does not clearly express the relationship between the preceding trends and agriculture’s position. The final paragraph moves from 1980–2000 to 2020 without clearly reporting the 2000 manufacturing figure. More precise transitions and clearer time grouping would strengthen progression.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “climbed,” “remained stable,” “fell,” and “accounted for,” so the trends are generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “number of employment,” “manufacturing was height,” and “number of vacancies was at bottom.” “Department,” “field,” and “section” are also used inconsistently for economic sectors. Spelling errors in “helthcare” recur and reduce accuracy. Aim for precise, consistent terms such as “number of jobs,” “sector,” and “employment,” and choose verbs that describe chart movements naturally. This would make the vocabulary more controlled and the comparisons clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex forms, including contrast clauses beginning with “While” and “Whereas,” and most of the intended meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors nevertheless recur. For example, “the number of jobs were increased” has incorrect agreement and verb form; “jobs are available” shifts into the present tense when describing 1960; and “Agriculture sector remained stable … and drop” mixes verb forms. Articles and sentence boundaries also need attention, as in “in agriculture sector” and the run-on punctuation before “Whereas.” Use past simple consistently for the historical data, check singular subjects such as “the number,” and ensure each contrast clause forms a complete, correctly punctuated sentence.

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