Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the number of jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, manufacturing were the highest in jobs before falling again,while healthcare were the lowest in jobs before increasing.Retail and Agriculture flactuate throughout the whole period.

In 1960 manufacturing was the highest in jobs to around about 15 and reached its highest point to nearly 20 millions in 1980 and made consistent decreased and end up to around about 14 millions of jobs in 2020.However, healthcare was the lowest at start to approxiamately 2 million in 1960 and increased throughout the whole period and end up to around about 15.5 millions of jobs.

in 1960, retail was around about 5 million and made the consistent increased and end up to nearly 15 millions in jobs. While, agriculture starts from around about 5.5 millions in 1960 and made a consistent decrased throughout the whole period and end up to nearly 2 millions of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main broad movements: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, healthcare rises, retail grows, and agriculture falls. The figures are generally close to the chart, including manufacturing at about 15 million initially and healthcare at about 2 million. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: manufacturing was not simply the highest throughout, since retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while healthcare is not the lowest at every point. The claim that retail and agriculture “flactuate” is also misleading; retail rises steadily and agriculture mostly declines. Make the overview more precise and compare the sectors’ positions at the end of the period to develop the key features more fully.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview and two paragraphs describing the data. Grouping manufacturing with healthcare, then retail with agriculture, is a sensible way to organise the details. However, progression is weakened by the unclear overview and by linking words that do not always show the relationship between ideas. For example, “However” introduces healthcare even though the sentence mainly adds another trend, and “While,” begins a fragment-like contrast before the agriculture detail. The repeated “and” also makes several sentences feel like lists. Use clearer comparisons and transitions, and ensure each paragraph develops a distinct point rather than repeating the overview.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant chart vocabulary such as “highest point,” “increased,” “decreased” and “throughout the whole period,” so the reader can identify the trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which makes parts of the report awkward or unclear. “Manufacturing were the highest in jobs” and “made the consistent increased” are not natural ways to describe the data; “flactuate” also misrepresents the steady movements. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “approxiamately” and “decrased.” Aim for precise trend language and vary the verbs used to describe rises and falls, while checking spelling and common collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in agreement, verb forms, articles and sentence construction occur across the response. For example, “manufacturing were” should use a singular subject or be recast as “the number of manufacturing jobs was”; “made consistent decreased” needs a correct verb form, such as “declined steadily.” Several sentences also run together without a space after the full stop, and the sentence beginning “While, agriculture…” is not well formed as a standalone sentence. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build comparisons with complete clauses. More reliable control of these patterns would make your range of sentence structures clearer.

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