Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph gives information about number of jobs in US economy mainly is four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, healthcare) from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Manufacturing sector has accounted for highest number of jobs,

in contrast healthcare sector has accounted for lowest number of jobs in early 1960 in which we can see massive growth in upcoming years. retail jobs have also showed massive growth over the time, meanwhile jobs related to agriculture sector have shown significant downfall.

Highest job opening sector was manufacturing around 15 million jobs, which further rose to 20 million in 1980 before falling to approximately 17 million in 2000 and then declining further to about 13 million in 2020. Retail followed an upward trend increasing consistently for roughly 6 million jobs to 10 million in 1980 and 15 million in 2000. By 2020, retail become the largest sector, employing around 16 million people.

Healthcare also recorded significant growth over the period. Starting at only 2 million jobs in 1960. Employment in the sector climbed 5 million in 1980 and 11 million in 2000, before reaching approximately 15 million in 2020. In contrast agriculture moved in the opposite direction, decreasing form about 6 million jobs in 1960 to 3 million in 1980 and 2000, and finally falling to just 2 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns and support them with relevant figures: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls. The overview also recognises healthcare’s low starting point and the strong growth in retail. Your account is mostly accurate, but the overview’s claim that manufacturing “has accounted for highest number of jobs” is too broad: by 2020, retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. Healthcare is also reported as approximately 15 million in 2020, whereas the chart indicates about 16 million. These details slightly weaken an otherwise clear summary. To strengthen it further, make the overview capture the changing sector rankings precisely and compare the two leading sectors at the end.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction and overview are followed by details about manufacturing and retail, then healthcare and agriculture. This makes the main trends easy to follow, and contrasts such as “In contrast” help signal relationships. However, some linking is mechanical or imprecise, and the overview’s first sentence is split awkwardly across lines and joined with a comma. The transition from the overview to the detailed paragraphs could also be smoother, while the final paragraph combines two sectors without a clear internal comparison until its last sentence. Use complete, well-punctuated sentences and organise details consistently—for example, grouping the rising sectors together and then contrasting them with agriculture.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of trend vocabulary, including “rose,” “declining,” “upward trend,” “climbed,” and “decreasing,” and the meaning is generally clear. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “accounted for” and “recorded significant growth.” Some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing employment data: “highest job opening sector” does not mean the sector with the most jobs, and “massive growth” is overstated and repeated. “Retail become the largest sector” also needs a more natural expression. Aim for precise, neutral terms such as “employed the most people,” “rose substantially,” and “became one of the largest sectors.” Check spelling and word forms, including “form” where “from” is intended.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex structures, including comparisons with “before” and “while,” and several sentences communicate the data clearly. However, some grammatical errors remain. The opening phrase needs an article and a clearer structure (“the number of jobs in four sectors of the US economy”), while “retail become” should be “retail became.” The sentence beginning “Starting at only 2 million jobs in 1960” is a fragment and should be joined to the following sentence. There are also issues with articles and sentence boundaries in the overview, including “in early 1960” and the comma after “jobs.” Improve control by checking tense consistency, completing introductory clauses, and separating independent clauses with appropriate punctuation.

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