Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The linear representation illustrates the information related to the numbr of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, the number of jobs for manufaturing jobs was 15 million. However, it had increased sharply to 20 million in 1980.Moreover, there was a steady drop of 4 million in 2000. It was slowly drop to the following years.In 1960, the number of jobs for retail jobs was 6 million. There was a steady rise of 4 million in 1980.Moreover, it had sharp rise of 5 million in 2000.However, it was almost same between year from 2000 to 2020.

In 1980, the number of jobs for agriculture jobs was 6 million. However, it had decreased steadliy to 3 million in 1980. Moreover, it was amlost same in between 1980 to 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs for heathcare jobs was 3 million. There was a steady rise of 2 million in 1

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

You identify the chart’s subject and report several relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and agriculture falling to 3 million. However, the account is incomplete and contains important inaccuracies: manufacturing falls to 17 million in 2000, not by four million, and then reaches 13 million in 2020; retail rises to 16 million by 2020 rather than remaining almost unchanged. The agriculture description also gives 1960’s figure as if it were for 1980, and healthcare is left unfinished. There is no clear overview of the main patterns, such as healthcare’s strong growth or agriculture’s decline. The response is also six words below the required minimum. Cover all four series accurately and add a concise overview.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows a broadly understandable sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and uses basic linking words such as “However” and “Moreover.” This gives the reader some sense of how the information is grouped. However, the account has no distinct overview or clear paragraph structure, and the repeated “In 1960” openings make the progression mechanical. Some links do not fit the relationship between ideas, while missing spaces after full stops—for example, “1980.Moreover”—interrupt the flow. The final healthcare sentence is cut off, leaving the report without a conclusion. Group related trends into paragraphs, use transitions to show comparisons or changes over time, and ensure each sentence connects clearly to the next.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use a basic range of chart vocabulary, including “increased,” “drop,” “rise,” and “decreased,” which helps communicate general movement. Some choices are appropriate, such as “steady rise,” but the vocabulary is repetitive and several phrases are awkward or imprecise, including “the linear representation,” “number of jobs for … jobs,” and “almost same.” Spelling errors such as “numbr,” “manufaturing,” “steadliy,” “amlost,” and “heathcare” are noticeable and reduce accuracy. Aim for concise, natural expressions used in data reports, and check spelling carefully. More precise verbs and phrases for describing trends and comparisons would make the account clearer and less repetitive.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You produce several simple sentences that communicate individual figures, and you attempt to connect clauses with “However” and “Moreover.” However, the range of sentence structures is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make parts of the report difficult to follow. For example, “It was slowly drop” has an incorrect verb form, while “the number of jobs for retail jobs” has an awkward and faulty construction. The sentence “In 1980, the number of jobs for agriculture jobs was 6 million” also places the time reference incorrectly for the figure being described. Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate past-tense trend descriptions and vary sentence patterns while keeping each sentence complete.

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