Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.5)
The graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail sectors climed rapidly over the period. The jobs in manufucturing sector fell marginally while employment in agricultural sector declined steadily.
In 1960, manufucturing offered maximum jobs about 15 million. It peaked in 1980 with 20 million jobs before facing a decline. Retail offered around 6 million but the figures rose in 1980 to approximately 10 million. The agricultural sector started at 6 million in 1960 but dropped in 1980 to 3 million while the employment in healthcare was at its lowest in 1960 but the figures climed to about 5 milllion in 1980.
After that in 2000, the manufacturing sector jobs decreased gradually and reached at its lowest in 2020 while the jobs in retail and healthcare rapidly increased and peaked in 2020 with a figure of 15 million. Agricultural jobs kept declining and the figures plunged to its lowest point in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0
You provide a clear overview of the main directions: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines, and you identify manufacturing as the largest sector at the start and its 1980 peak. Most reported figures and trends match the graph. However, the overview says manufacturing fell “marginally,” which understates its decline from 20 million to 13 million, and the account does not clearly report the key 2000 figures or that retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, jointly highest. Saying manufacturing reached its “lowest” in 2020 is also imprecise, since it remains well above its 1960 level. More precise comparisons and fuller coverage of the end-point rankings would strengthen an otherwise relevant, well-supported summary.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response is arranged in a sensible sequence: an introduction, an overview, and then details for the earlier and later years. The contrast between manufacturing and the other growing sectors helps the reader follow the main patterns, and transitions such as “Overall,” “In 1960,” and “After that” provide a clear framework. However, the final paragraph moves from 1980 to 2000 and then to 2020 without giving the 2000 values, so the progression feels incomplete. Some references are also vague: “the figures” and “the jobs” can make it less clear which sector or year is being discussed. To make the organisation more flexible and precise, group related sectors and use explicit year-to-year comparisons rather than relying mainly on time markers.
Lexical Resource: Band 6.0
You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “peaked,” “declined steadily,” “employment,” and “plunged,” which helps describe trends. There are also attempts at varied phrasing, such as “offered” jobs and “facing a decline,” although these are not always natural collocations for chart reporting. Spelling errors in “climed,” “manufucturing,” and “milllion” are noticeable, and “maximum jobs” is less idiomatic than “the highest number of jobs.” Some repetition of “jobs,” “figures,” and “sector” limits flexibility. Aim for accurate spelling and conventional reporting language, and choose verbs that precisely reflect the scale of change—for example, distinguish a gradual fall from a substantial decline.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0
You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses with “while” and “before,” and the main meaning remains clear. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with articles and sentence patterns: “in healthcare and retail sectors” would be more accurate as “in the healthcare and retail sectors,” while “reached at its lowest” has an unnecessary preposition. In “the figures plunged to its lowest point,” the pronoun does not agree with the plural subject; use “their” or recast the sentence. The long sentence beginning “After that in 2000” also combines several ideas without clear punctuation, making the timeline harder to follow. Check articles, agreement, and prepositions, and divide complex comparisons into controlled sentences.
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