Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph depicts the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020.

The number of manufacturing jobs are higher at the start in 1960 and reaches highest point in 1980 of about (20 million) while the number of retail and agriculture sectors started from 6 million jobs but with the passage of time by 1980 agriculture jobs decresases and goes to approximately 3 million however, the number of retail sector employ rise to 10 million. Healthcare jobs gradually rises and by the 2020 Retail and healthcare jobs leveled off. However manufacturing employs who are at the peak in 1960 decreases by 13 million in 2020.

Retail and agriculture both sectors started with 6 million employ however by 2020 retail and healthcare sector had same number of employ (16 million) but the number of agriculture employ did not remain the same as started with the number of retail employs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and report some relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of about 20 million in 1980 and the shared starting point of 6 million for retail and agriculture. However, the response gives only a limited account of the graph and lacks a clear, accurate overview of its main trends. In particular, it says retail and healthcare “leveled off” by 2020, although both rise to around 16 million, and the statement that manufacturing “decreases by 13 million” confuses its final level with the amount of its decline. The response is also 144 words, below the required 150; 13 words copied from the task prompt were not counted. Add a concise overview and accurately compare the sectors’ overall changes.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic organisation: the opening identifies the graph, and the response is divided into two paragraphs. You also use linking expressions such as “while,” “however” and “by 2020” to connect comparisons. Nevertheless, the information is not arranged in a clear progression. The first main paragraph combines several trends in a long sentence, then the second repeats the starting figures for retail and agriculture without adding much new information. Some relationships are difficult to follow, especially the shift from healthcare’s rise to the claim that retail and healthcare levelled off. Group the information by overall trend—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use clear sentence boundaries and references.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a line graph, including “highest point,” “gradually rises,” “decreases” and “approximately,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “retail sector employ,” “manufacturing employs” and “number of agriculture employ” do not express the intended meaning naturally; use “retail employment” or “number of jobs” instead. “Leveled off” is also unsuitable for lines that continue to rise. There are spelling errors, including “decresases,” and repeated use of “number” and “jobs.” More precise trend vocabulary and accurate sector-related collocations would make the account clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts some complex sentences, using contrast and time clauses such as “while” and “however,” but control is inconsistent and errors sometimes make relationships unclear. For example, “The number of manufacturing jobs are higher” has subject–verb disagreement, while “between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect preposition pattern. Verb forms also shift or fail to agree: “Healthcare jobs gradually rises,” and “agriculture jobs decresases.” The long second sentence in the first paragraph joins several ideas with limited punctuation, making it difficult to process. Use shorter, complete sentences and check agreement, tense consistency, and standard patterns such as “between 1960 and 2020.”

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