Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear representation illustrates the information related to the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

In 1960, the number of jobs for manufacturing was 15 million. It had sharp rise of 5 million in 1980. Moreover, there was a steady dip of 4 million in 2000. However, it dropped steadily to 14 million in 2020.In 1960, the number of jobs for retail was 6 million. Moreover, there was a sharp rise in 1980. However, it increased steep incline to 15 million in 2000. But, it was almost the same from 2000 to 2020.

In 1960, the number of jobs for agriculture was nearly 5 million. Moreover, there was a steady drop of 3 million in 1980. However, it was almost the same from 1980 to 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs for healthcare was 3 million. Moreover, it had steady rise of 2 million in 1980. But, there was a sharp rise in 2000. It had increased suddenly to 15 million in 2020.

Overall, the number of highest is manufacturing. However, lowest jobs is agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You cover all four sectors and report several broad movements, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak in 1980 and agriculture’s decline. However, the overview is inaccurate: manufacturing is not the highest sector throughout the period, and agriculture is not always the lowest; by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint highest at about 16 million, while agriculture is lowest. Some figures and trends also need correction: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5, and healthcare reaches about 16 million in 2020, not 15. The account is mainly a sequence of individual figures, with limited comparison between sectors. A clearer overview of the changing rankings and more accurate key comparisons would make the response more complete and better supported.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic order, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, so the reader can identify which sector is being discussed. However, the repeated opening pattern, such as “In 1960…” followed by “Moreover” or “However,” makes the progression mechanical rather than showing how the trends relate. Several contrast markers do not express a clear contrast, and the final overview appears after all the details without being developed as a distinct summary. Grouping sectors with similar patterns, or comparing their rankings at key dates, would create a clearer line of progression. Use a separate overview paragraph and reserve linking words for relationships that are genuinely additive or contrasting.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “rise,” “dip,” “drop,” and “steady,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or awkward, such as “sharp rise of 5 million,” “increased steep incline,” and “the number of highest.” Repeated use of “Moreover,” “However,” and “But” also limits variety and sometimes gives the wrong relationship between ideas. Aim for more precise trend language and natural collocations, for example, “rose by five million,” “increased steeply,” and “the highest number of jobs.” This would make the descriptions clearer and more appropriate to an academic report.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

Most sentences communicate a basic trend, and you attempt some variation with clauses introduced by “However” and “Moreover.” Nevertheless, the response relies heavily on short, repetitive sentence patterns, and errors occur frequently enough to affect clarity. Examples include “It had sharp rise” (missing an article), “it increased steep incline” (an incomplete grammatical construction), and “the number of highest is manufacturing” (an unclear sentence structure). There are also punctuation and spacing problems, such as “2020.In” and the extra space in “But, it.” Practise accurate comparative and change structures, such as “Manufacturing employment rose by five million” and “Healthcare reached approximately 16 million by 2020,” before attempting more complex sentences.

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