Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The manufacturing industry has always been on the high time highest, from 1960 creating 15 million jobs to increasing to 20 million in 1980, then comes this drop that by 2020, the manufacturing business created below 15m jobs. On the other hand, retail took an interesting turn from creating 5 million jobs in 1960,to 10 million in 1980, the 15 million in 2,000 and there has beem a steady wave from the 2,000 to 2020.

Agriculture took a drastic fall. it started strongly with more than 5 million jobs in 1960to close to 0 in 2020. Healthcare sector is one of the show, from about 2 million jobs in 1960 to a great leap of 15 million jobs in 2020, it has been steady ever since.

The gap between the healthsector and agriculture is disapponting, once would say could the mautured food, be causing more sickness? The drop in the manufacturing sector is worth looking into, one would think that as the retail sector is improving so should the manufacturing sector, because of the demand and supply chain.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the main direction of change in all four sectors, including manufacturing’s rise and later decline, agriculture’s fall, and healthcare’s strong growth. However, the account only partially reports the graph’s key features: there is no clear overview of the final ranking or the major comparison that healthcare and retail both reach about 16 million jobs by 2020. Some figures are inaccurate or imprecise: agriculture ends at about 2 million, not “close to 0,” and healthcare reaches about 16 million, rather than 15 million. The final paragraph speculates about sickness and supply chains, which is not supported by the graph. Focus on describing visible trends and comparisons, and avoid explanations the data cannot establish.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response groups information by sector and uses basic linking phrases such as “On the other hand” and “Agriculture,” so the reader can follow the broad topic changes. However, progression is uneven: the first paragraph combines several trends in long, loosely connected sentences, while the final paragraph shifts from reporting data to unsupported speculation. Some connections are unclear, particularly “it has been steady ever since,” which does not specify the period or trend clearly. Organise the response into a concise overview followed by logically grouped comparisons, and use references that make each trend explicit. This would create a clearer overall progression and reduce the impression of separate, loosely joined observations.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of descriptive language, including “drastic fall,” “great leap,” and “steady wave,” and use relevant sector vocabulary such as “manufacturing” and “healthcare.” However, several choices are inaccurate or informal for a graph summary: “on the high time highest,” “one of the show,” and “disappointing” do not communicate the data precisely. Spelling errors such as “beem,” “disapponting,” and “mautured” also make parts harder to understand. Prefer neutral, conventional trend language and check spelling. For example, describe a line as rising, declining, remaining stable, or reaching a peak rather than using unclear or evaluative expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and clauses, but control is inconsistent, and errors sometimes make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. For example, “from 1960 creating 15 million jobs to increasing to 20 million” has an unclear grammatical structure, while “there has beem a steady wave” contains an incorrect verb form. Missing spaces and punctuation in “1960to” and “1960,to” also disrupt readability. Sentence boundaries are especially difficult in the final paragraph, where questions and explanations run together. Use a reliable pattern such as “Manufacturing rose from 15 million in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, before falling,” and check verb forms, articles, and punctuation in each sentence.

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