Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The linear representation illustrates the information related to the number of jobs in four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare) of the economy in the United States in six decades (1960 and 2020).

In 1960, the number of jobs in the manufacturing sector was 15 million. The figure rose sharply by 5 million in 1980. Moreover, there was a steady dip in it of 4 million in 2000. However, it dropped steadily to 14 million in 2020.In 1960, the number of jobs under the retail sector was 6 million. Moreover, there was a sharp rise to 10 million in 1980. However, it rocketed to 15 million in 2000. But, it was almost the same from 2000 to 2020.

In 1960, the number of jobs in the agriculture sector was nearly 5 million. Moreover, there was a steady drop of 3 million in it in 1980. However, it did not account any major change from 1980 to 2020. In 1960, the number of jobs for healthcare was 3 million. Moreover, it went up gradually by 2 million in 1980. But, there was a sharp rise in 2000. As it had increased suddenly from 5 million to 15 million in 2020.

Overall, the number of highest of job were in the manufacturing sector. However, the lowest number of jobs were in agricultur sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You report all four sectors and identify broad movements, including manufacturing’s rise to a peak and agriculture’s decline. However, the overview is inaccurate: manufacturing is not the highest sector throughout the period, and agriculture is not the lowest in every year; by 2020, retail and healthcare are joint highest at about 16 million. Several figures are also misreported: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020, while healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, not 15 million. The agriculture figures are approximately 6, 3, 3 and 2 million. These errors and the limited comparison between sectors mean the main features are only partially conveyed. Prioritise a precise overview and accurate key comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable sequence: an introduction, descriptions of the four sectors, and a concluding overview. This makes the information generally followable. However, the body reads as a series of separate year-by-year accounts rather than a clear comparison of the trends. Repeated transitions such as “Moreover,” “However,” and “But” are often mechanical or do not show a genuine contrast. The healthcare sentence beginning “As it had increased…” is also left as a fragment, interrupting the flow. Grouping related trends—for example, the declining agriculture figures alongside manufacturing’s later fall, and the growth in retail and healthcare—would create clearer progression. Use fewer, more precise linking expressions and connect each paragraph’s details to its main point.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “rose sharply,” “steady dip,” “dropped steadily,” and “rocketed,” so the reader can understand the general direction of change. However, some choices are imprecise or unnatural for a formal data report: “linear representation” is less suitable than “line graph,” “number of jobs under the retail sector” is awkward, and “did not account any major change” does not express stability naturally. “Rocketted” is also too emphatic for a measured increase, while “highest of job” and “agricultur sector” show problems with word form and spelling. Aim for accurate, neutral terms such as “increased,” “declined,” “remained stable,” and “employment in.” This would make the descriptions more precise and appropriately academic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more developed sentence forms, and most of the trends remain understandable. However, control is uneven, particularly when combining clauses. “As it had increased suddenly from 5 million to 15 million in 2020” is a dependent clause presented as a complete sentence; connect it to the preceding sentence or rewrite it as a full statement. In “the number of highest of job were,” the sentence structure and subject–verb agreement are faulty. Missing spaces after full stops, as in “2020.In 1960,” also affect punctuation. Practise forming complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check agreement and punctuation during editing. More accurate control of these structures would support the range you are attempting.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.