Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

the given graph illustrate the information about how job sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare increasing in number contributes to the economy of the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the job such as rertail and healthcare were increasing as time passes whereas, manufacturing deacreased drastically by the end of the period.

To begin with, in 1960, manufacturing jobs were in 15millions which then slightly increased to 20millions by 1980. However, it decreased drastically by the end of the period to almost 13millions in numbers. Meanwhile, jobs in agriculture and healthcare starts with almost the same point of approximatley 5.2 in millions, where retail starts to incline in numbers from 10millions to 15millions and then reach to almost 15.1millions by 2020. Whereas, agriculture declining constantly to 2millions in numbers by the end of era. In 1960, healthcare was the least preferable to only 1 or 2millions in job availabilty but in increased by the period and reach to as same as retail jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad pattern that retail and healthcare rise while manufacturing falls after its peak, and you include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and ending at about 13 million. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: retail starts at 6 million, not 10 million, and rises to 16 million; agriculture and healthcare do not begin at the same level, at about 6 million and 2 million respectively. The overview also omits the important comparison that retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million, jointly the highest. The main trends are covered, but more accurate comparisons and a clearer account of the series’ starting points would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and a paragraph describing the data. Its use of “Overall,” “To begin with,” and “Meanwhile” helps signal the stages of the report. However, the final paragraph combines several series and time points in a way that makes comparisons difficult to follow. For example, the sentence beginning “Meanwhile, jobs in agriculture and healthcare…” shifts between their starting values, retail’s trend, and agriculture’s decline. Some linking is also awkward or unclear, particularly “where retail starts to incline” and the transition to healthcare. Grouping the two rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer references to years, would improve progression and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “declining,” and “by the end of the period,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, such as “job sectors … increasing in number contributes to the economy,” “least preferable,” and “starts to incline.” Spelling errors—including “rertail,” “deacreased,” “approximatley,” and “availabilty”—also reduce accuracy and polish. Prefer precise chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” and “recorded the lowest figure.” Check spelling carefully and avoid describing job numbers as preferences, since the graph reports employment levels rather than popularity.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “However” and a time clause beginning “whereas.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some errors in sentence structure, tense, agreement, and articles make parts less clear. For example, “the given graph illustrate” needs subject–verb agreement, while “agriculture and healthcare starts” should use a plural verb. “In 1960, manufacturing jobs were in 15millions” has an inaccurate grammatical pattern, and “but in increased by the period” is difficult to interpret. Use consistent past tense for the historical data and form comparisons in complete, controlled clauses. More accurate sentence construction would make your range of structures clearer.

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