Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph compares the information about the number of employments in four different sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the eccnomy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing was took the highest number of jobs that increased for twenty years then fell down throughout period of time. Retail and agriculture were the second highest in employments but agriculture section fell down all over the time period. In contrast, healthcare sector climbed to all the time period.

Firstly, highest number of employments in manufacturing was 15 in 1960 that escalated to 20 in 1980 and then dramatically fell down to 2020. However, in retail sector, number of jobs surged all over time period but from 2000 to 2020 it remained the same.

Secondly, healthcare jobs were at the lowest position in 1960 at 3 but after 20 years it increase to 5 and the climbed up to 15 in 2020. On the other hand, employments in agriculture dropped from 7 in 1960 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main sectors and give an overview of broad trends, especially manufacturing’s rise and subsequent decline and agriculture’s overall fall. However, several comparisons and figures are inaccurate or incomplete. Retail did not remain unchanged from 2000 to 2020: it rose slightly from about 15 to 16 million. Healthcare reached about 16 million, not 15, and began at about 2 million rather than 3. The statement that manufacturing “dramatically fell” does not report its endpoint, while agriculture’s fall from 1960 to 2020 is left without a clear final figure. The overview also incorrectly calls retail and agriculture the second-highest sectors. Select the key rankings and endpoints accurately, then support the overview with clearer comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. Sequencing expressions such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” and “Secondly” help the reader follow the account, and the sectors are grouped into manageable sections. However, some links are mechanical or do not express the relationship accurately. For example, “On the other hand” introduces agriculture after healthcare, although the contrast is not clearly explained, and the overview’s ranking of retail and agriculture makes the progression confusing. Several details are also too compressed, particularly the final sentence about agriculture. Improve cohesion by grouping comparable trends, using precise references to years and values, and ensuring each paragraph develops a clear comparison rather than simply listing sectors.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “escalated,” “surged,” “climbed,” and “dropped,” and the reader can generally understand which sectors are being discussed. However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing this graph. “Number of employments” is not the usual expression; use “number of jobs” or “employment.” Phrases such as “fell down,” “all over the time period,” and “climbed to all the time period” are awkward, and “dramatically” overstates the manufacturing decline. There are also spelling errors, including “eccnomy.” Aim for precise, natural collocations and avoid using several different trend verbs when a simpler, accurate description would be clearer.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “In contrast” and a time clause beginning “but from 2000 to 2020.” Meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in verb forms and sentence construction occur in several places. For example, “manufacturing was took” should be “manufacturing had” or “manufacturing recorded,” and “it increase to 5” needs the past-tense form “increased.” In “the climbed up to 15,” the clause is incomplete, while “fell down to 2020” does not form a grammatical description of a value. Some sentences also omit necessary articles or use unclear structures. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and build complete sentences around each sector’s figures.

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