Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare in the US economy from 1960 to 2020

Overall, it can be clearly seen that healthcare and retail jobs increased over time on the other hand manufacturing and agricultural jobs droped significantly.

In 1960, healthcare jobs were the lowest among all, only about 2.5 millions and followed a upward trend. Surpassing the agriculture in about 1975 and manufacturing in approximately 2016 to became the most number of jobs available in 2020 just over 15 million jobs. Retail started at just over 5 million and increased over the next four decades. In about 2005, left behind manufacturing and shared first position with healthcare in terms number of jobs.

In 1960, just over 5 million agricultural jobs were available and experienced noticeable droped in first ten years, afterwards stayed a relatively stable. Manufacturing jobs experienced boomed in first decades, jumped to 20 million jobs in the year 1980 and drop linearly in next thirty years to just about 13 million jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast accurately: retail and healthcare rise, while manufacturing and agriculture decline, and you include several relevant figures and comparisons. The account of manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and fall to about 13 million by 2020 is particularly useful. This meets the task well, with some features developed more fully than others. However, a few details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture begins at about 6 million, not “just over 5 million,” and healthcare does not surpass manufacturing until around 2020, rather than approximately 2016. The overview could also state more precisely that retail and healthcare finish jointly highest, at about 16 million. Correcting these points and clarifying the key end-of-period comparison would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall shape: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the rising and falling sectors. This gives the reader a coherent route through the data, and comparisons such as healthcare overtaking agriculture help connect the figures. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. In the overview, “over time on the other hand” needs clearer punctuation and a more natural contrast marker. The healthcare and retail details are combined in one long paragraph, while the final paragraph shifts back to agriculture and manufacturing; grouping the two rising sectors together and the two declining sectors together would make the progression more consistent. Phrases such as “In 1960” repeated at the start of consecutive paragraphs also make the organisation feel less fluid.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “increased,” “surpassing,” “stable,” and “drop,” and the sector names are generally clear. Some attempts at more descriptive language show ambition, but several choices are inaccurate or awkward: “experienced boomed,” “droped linearly,” and “shared first position” do not express the trends naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “droped,” which reduce the accuracy of the vocabulary. Prefer precise chart language such as “rose sharply,” “declined steadily,” and “finished at the same level.” Avoid adding emphasis such as “significantly” unless the scale supports it. More consistent, natural collocations would improve precision while keeping the account concise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple statements and longer sentences, including clauses describing when one sector overtook another. The main trends are usually understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “healthcare and retail jobs increased over time on the other hand manufacturing…” needs punctuation and a clearer sentence boundary, while “only about 2.5 millions” has an incorrect plural form. In “to became the most number of jobs,” the infinitive construction and sentence structure are faulty; “to become the largest sector” would be clearer. There are also missing articles or prepositions in phrases such as “in terms number of jobs.” Work on sentence boundaries, verb forms, and article use, then check each sentence for a complete grammatical structure. These corrections would make your varied sentences more controlled.

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