Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below provides information about the number of jobs in four areas of the economy in the US between 1960 to 2020. The numbers of job in gradually increased in healthcare sectors whereas the number of jobs reduced in the agriculture sector.

The total number of jobs in healthcare sector was only 2 million in 1960. These numbers began to increase gradually, and the total number of jobs for healthcare sector was almost 16 million till 2020 which was equivalent to the number of jobs for Retail sector although the number of jobs for retail sector was the double of health care sector on 1960.

For agriculture sector, the sum of jobs was 6 million in 1960, that begin to slightly decrease in coming years till 2020, there was only 2 millions jobs for agriculture sector. Manufacturing industry, have almost 15 millions of jobs in 1960, which start to sharply increase and the began to decrease gradually till 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify two relevant broad trends: healthcare rises and agriculture declines, and you include several figures that broadly match the graph, such as healthcare reaching about 16 million and agriculture falling from 6 to 2 million. However, the response omits a clear overview of the main comparisons, especially that manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before falling, while retail rises and finishes level with healthcare. The manufacturing account also gives only its starting point and direction, without the key peak or final figure. Some descriptions are unclear, including “the double” in 1960, when retail was three times healthcare. The response is 144 words, below the required 150, and this limits the development of the summary. Add a concise overview and select the most significant figures and turning points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response has a basic sequence, moving from healthcare to agriculture and then manufacturing, and the paragraphs broadly group related information. However, there is no distinct overview paragraph, so the reader is not given a clear map of the graph’s main patterns before the details. The opening sentence repeats the task wording, while the later information is not consistently organised by comparison or time period. Connections such as “whereas” and “although” are attempted, but the comparison in the retail sentence is difficult to follow. The final manufacturing sentence also ends without stating the 2020 figure. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs, and use clear comparisons to guide the reader through the trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use enough topic vocabulary to communicate the general subject, including “gradually increased,” “decrease,” “equivalent,” and “sector.” There is some variation in how trends are described, but several phrases are repetitive or imprecise: “number of jobs” and “sector” recur frequently, and “the sum of jobs” is not a natural way to describe employment figures. “Sharply increase” does not accurately convey manufacturing’s rise to 1980 followed by a decline, and “the double” is an awkward expression for a comparison. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning less clear, though the main trends remain understandable. Build a more precise range of verbs and comparison phrases, and check common collocations when describing figures and changes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “although” and a relative clause beginning “which.” However, control is inconsistent, and several errors affect clarity. For example, “between 1960 to 2020” uses the wrong preposition pattern, while “the number of job … increased” has a number-agreement problem. In “that begin to slightly decrease,” the verb form and tense are incorrect, and “Manufacturing industry, have” has faulty subject–verb agreement and punctuation. The long healthcare sentence also combines several ideas in a way that makes the comparison hard to follow. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and agreement, and divide long sentences so each comparison has a clear grammatical structure.

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