Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph shows the number of jobs in four economy sectors in the US from [redacted phone].

Firstly, the manufacturing sector is noted to have the highest number of jobs in 1960 with fifteen million jobs as compared to healthcare with the lowest number of jobs with roughly two million. Manufacturing sector noted it peak number of jobs in 1980 with twenty million which is the highest number overall, before gradually declining to just below fifteen million in 2020.

There are significant comparison between retail and healthcare sector which started in 1960 with six million and two million number of jobs approximately. They both increased by five million number of job until the 2000 - 2020, retail sector only increased by roughly one million while healthcare increased by five million, closing the year 2020 with approximately sixteen million jobs together with retail.

Agriculture started with the same number of jobs as retail however, declined steadily to three million in 1980 and maintained the same number of jobs to 2000. It fyrther decli ed to two million by 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify several important features, including manufacturing’s peak in 1980, agriculture’s decline, and the convergence of retail and healthcare at about 16 million jobs in 2020. However, the response does not provide a clear, sufficiently developed overview of the main trends across all four sectors. Some comparisons are also inaccurate or unclear: retail rises from 6 to 10 million by 1980, not by five million, and the statement that both retail and healthcare “increased by five million” until 2000–2020 does not accurately describe their different trajectories. Add a concise overview highlighting manufacturing’s rise then fall, agriculture’s steady decline, and the growth of retail and healthcare, then report the key stages more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The information is arranged in a generally understandable sequence: manufacturing is discussed first, retail and healthcare are compared next, and agriculture is covered last. Paragraphing helps separate these points, and phrases such as “before” and “however” signal changes in direction. Some links are less clear, though. The sentence beginning “They both increased by five million number of job until the 2000 - 2020” makes it difficult to tell which period and figures are being compared, while “closing the year 2020 … together with retail” is awkwardly connected. Use clearer time markers and organise the body around trends or periods so comparisons are easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “declining,” “maintained,” “approximately,” and “highest number overall.” This gives the response an adequate range for the task. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “noted to have,” “noted it peak,” and “number of jobs” repeated in close succession. There are also spelling errors in “fyrther” and “decli ed,” which reduce accuracy. Aim for concise, conventional chart language and check spelling: for example, use “reached a peak,” “fell to,” and “remained stable.” Vary repeated phrases with “employment,” “job total,” or “figure” where appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response includes both simple statements and attempts at longer, comparative sentences, such as the sentence contrasting retail and healthcare. Meaning is generally recoverable, but some grammatical errors make parts of that comparison difficult to interpret. Examples include “Manufacturing sector noted it peak,” “There are significant comparison,” and “six million and two million number of jobs.” These show problems with articles, agreement, possessives, and sentence construction. The final sentence also needs clearer punctuation and phrasing. Practise building comparisons with a complete subject and verb—for example, “Retail rose to 15 million by 2000, while healthcare reached 11 million”—and check agreement and articles when editing.

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