Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates about job opportunity available in various sectors of economy in united states in 1960 and 2020.

Overall, there had fluctuation in manufactring sector while ratail and healthcare had dramatic changed and on other hand agriculture sector had go down.

Firstly, job oppotunites had rised dramatically in healthcare that shows this feild grow rapidly. Healthcare is visualised with diamond shape while agriculture had constantly declined and had less employment then in 1960 and Agriculture is recognized with square.

Secondly, manufactring had up and down in job opportunity it rapidly moved upward to 20 million in 1980 that seemed to be highest one in the visuals after that feild had a downfall to approximately 13 million in 2020 while retail sector had Increased contantly till 2000 it reaches to 15 million with constant speed after that it steadly slow down and reaches to 16 million in 2020 both retail and healthcare had more or less same job opportunity in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall patterns: manufacturing fluctuates, agriculture declines, and healthcare and retail rise, and you include useful comparisons such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and retail and healthcare reaching similar levels by 2020. These accurate, relevant details support a response that addresses the task well. However, the overview is not fully precise: retail does not slow or decline after 2000; it continues to rise, from 15 to 16 million. The opening also refers to 1960 and 2020 rather than the full 1960–2020 period. Some trends are asserted without enough figures, particularly agriculture’s fall and healthcare’s growth. More complete coverage of the key stages and accurate descriptions of each line would strengthen the report further.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs signalled by “Firstly” and “Secondly.” The reader can follow the broad comparison between the sectors, and the final comparison of retail and healthcare in 2020 gives the report a useful endpoint. However, progression is sometimes weakened by long, crowded sentences, especially the final sentence, which combines manufacturing and retail trends without clear separation. Connectors such as “on other hand” and “after that” are used mechanically or without clear punctuation, and references such as “that field” are not always immediately clear. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, with shorter sentences and clearer links, would make the organisation more effective.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “fluctuation,” “declined,” “dramatically,” “upward,” and “downfall,” so the reader can understand the general movement of the lines. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, spelling, and collocation errors are noticeable: “job opportunity” is repeatedly used where “number of jobs” or “employment” is more natural, while “constant speed” and “steadly slow down” do not accurately describe the data. Misspellings such as “manufactring,” “ratail,” and “opportunites” also reduce precision. Aim for a wider set of accurate trend expressions and check spelling carefully; this will help you describe changes without relying on repeated or awkward phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, including clauses linked with “while” and “after that,” and the main trends are generally understandable. However, control is inconsistent, particularly in longer sentences. Examples include “there had fluctuation,” “agriculture sector had go down,” and “it reaches to 15 million,” where verb forms and sentence patterns are faulty. Articles and agreement also need attention, as in “in united states” and “both retail and healthcare had more or less same job opportunity.” Several clauses run together without appropriate punctuation, making relationships between ideas harder to follow. Practise forming accurate past-tense sentences and separating linked comparisons into clear clauses; this would improve readability while retaining your attempts at complex structures.

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