Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the us,[redacted phone] is:

In 1960,healthcare was down but while time goes out,it started increasing from 1980 and went up,for the agriculture it started at the up and started decreasing when time went on from 1960 we notice a decrease from the agriculture part.

The retail started with the agriculture but the exception is it started raising up instead of going dow,for that job it has increased from 1960 to 2020.

The manufacture part which started well for the step in 1980 started decreasing in 2000 till 2020. The four sectors shows the elevation and the decrease of people looking for job,for instance the sector of manufacturing in 1980 people were many but after the number started decreasing.

In my own word,i will the sector that is improving from 1960 to 2022 in the US is the agriculture and the retail

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies some broad movements, including manufacturing rising before falling and retail increasing, but it does not give a clear, accurate overview of the chart’s main features. The claim that agriculture “started at the up” is unclear, and the final statement incorrectly says agriculture improved; it actually declined from about 6 million jobs to 2 million. Healthcare’s strong rise and its ending level alongside retail are not clearly reported. The years are also misstated as 1960–2022 rather than 1960–2020. The response contains 139 words, below the required 150. To improve, give a concise overview of the contrasting trends, then support it with accurate figures and comparisons.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is some basic sequencing by sector, and time references such as “In 1960,” “from 1980,” and “till 2020” help the reader follow the intended chronology. However, the response is arranged as a series of loosely connected observations rather than a clear summary with an overview and well-grouped details. Several links are confusing, especially “healthcare was down but while time goes out” and “The retail started with the agriculture,” which make the relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Repetition of “started” and “decreasing” also limits progression. Organise the response into an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs grouping rising sectors against declining ones; use clear comparisons between them.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “increased,” “decreasing,” and “manufacturing,” so the general subject is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “started at the up,” “raising up,” and “the manufacture part.” These choices sometimes obscure the intended trend, while “people looking for job” does not accurately describe the number of jobs shown. Spelling and form errors such as “dow” and “manufacture” also reduce precision. Build a more reliable set of chart-description terms and use them in standard collocations, for example “rose to,” “declined steadily,” and “the manufacturing sector.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writer attempts both simple and longer sentences, including a contrast with “The retail started with the agriculture but the exception is…”. However, sentence control is inconsistent, and several clauses are difficult to parse: “In 1960, healthcare was down but while time goes out” combines incompatible structures, while “for the agriculture it started at the up” lacks a clear grammatical subject and construction. Tense use shifts between past and present (“started” and “goes”), and punctuation spacing is often missing after commas. Agreement is also inaccurate in “The four sectors shows.” Use straightforward past-tense sentences to describe the historical data, check subject–verb agreement, and separate ideas with full stops.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.