Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The diagrams illustrates that the number of employment in four sectors of the econmy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overview, a manufacturing sector more than a healthcare sector and decline it from certain level of jobs whereas an agriculture sector would decrease as compared to retail sector and inclind it consistantly.

To begin with the manufacturing sector would increase by 20% in 1980 as compared to the healthcare sector. After that healthcare constantly inclined around by 16% in level of jobs in 2020 but manufacturing sector declined by 13% approx.

In addition to, the agriculture sector decreased by 3% approx in 1980 as contrast to the retail sector would more by 10% in 1980 However the consitently increases by 16% in number of jobs in retail sector. Therefore, the agriculture would constant in 2000 and less by 3% in 2020 in a huge level of variation in the jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and healthcare rising to about 16 million by 2020. However, the overview is unclear and does not accurately summarise the main comparisons: manufacturing does not remain above healthcare throughout, and retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million, while agriculture is the smallest sector. Some details are also misreported or ambiguous: “increase by 20%” appears to mean 20 million, and agriculture is about 2 million—not 3 million—in 2020. The response therefore covers the task only partially, with key trends and comparisons under-developed. Make the overview precise, then report the main changes using consistent units.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to two detail paragraphs, and it attempts to group sectors for comparison. However, the progression is difficult to follow because relationships between ideas are often unclear. For example, “whereas an agriculture sector would decrease as compared to retail sector and inclind it consistantly” does not clearly explain which trend is being contrasted. Linking phrases such as “To begin with,” “After that,” and “In addition to” are used, but some do not accurately signal the relationship between the information. Improve cohesion by organising the report around clear comparisons—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use straightforward links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” only where appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “declined,” “increases,” and “number of jobs,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning difficult to understand. Phrases such as “number of employment,” “inclind,” “consitently,” and “in a huge level of variation” are inaccurate or unclear; “20%” is also unsuitable when describing a figure of 20 million jobs. Spelling errors are noticeable, including “econmy” and “consitently.” Build a reliable set of trend expressions and use them precisely, distinguishing between a value (“20 million”) and a percentage change (“20%”). Check spelling and collocations before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and longer sentence forms, but control is limited, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas hard to follow. The opening, “The diagrams illustrates,” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “a manufacturing sector more than a healthcare sector” lacks a clear verb and comparison structure. Verb forms are also inconsistent: “would increase” and “would decrease” are used for past data, where “increased” and “decreased” are needed. Articles and sentence boundaries are problematic in phrases such as “an agriculture sector” and the run-on transition before “However.” Use past simple consistently for the historical figures, form complete clauses, and separate contrasting sentences with appropriate punctuation.

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