Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the jobs in four various sectors of economy in thin the time period of sixty years from 1960 to 2020.

in 1960, total number of people associated to manufacturing sector was 15 million and in healthcare it was about 2 million . For retail and agriculture the proportion was same to 6 million in 1960.

afterthat, manufacturing industry shows a upward trend to 20 million , reatail hits 10 miiions , healthcare showed 7 million while agriculture sector decreased to 3 million.

overall, healthcre shows a upward trend and ends up to 16 million in 2020 while agriculture tends to decreased to only one million in 2020. retail sector also showed a upward trend .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify several relevant figures, including manufacturing at 15 million and healthcare at about 2 million in 1960, and note that manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it gives no figures for 2000, omits manufacturing’s later decline, and does not clearly compare the sectors at the end. Some data are inaccurate: healthcare was about 5 million, not 7 million, in 1980, and agriculture was about 2 million, not 1 million, in 2020. The overview is limited and does not highlight that retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million by 2020. The response is also 28 words below the required minimum. Include a fuller overview and select key changes across the whole period.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response follows a basic time sequence, moving from 1960 to 1980 and then to 2020, and uses simple links such as “afterthat” and “overall” to signal progression. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, there is no clear paragraph structure, and the final overview is mixed with details rather than set apart. The account also jumps over the 2000 data, so the progression across the full period is incomplete. Some connections between ideas are abrupt, and the repeated use of “showed a upward trend” makes the ending feel repetitive. Grouping the information into an introduction, an overview, and two chronological or sector-based detail paragraphs would make the progression clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “upward trend,” “decreased,” and “sector,” so the reader can recognise the general subject and direction of change. However, the range is limited and several choices or spelling errors reduce precision: “data about the jobs,” “proportion” for job numbers, “associated to,” and “hits” are not natural or accurate in this context. There are also noticeable misspellings, such as “reatail,” “miiions,” and “healthcre,” which can make the text harder to read. Aim for precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” and “fell,” and check spelling carefully. Avoid repeating the same trend phrase when describing different sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response mainly uses short, simple statements, with a few attempts to combine information, for example, “For retail and agriculture the proportion was same to 6 million in 1960.” However, grammatical errors occur frequently and sometimes make relationships unclear. Examples include “in thin the time period,” “in healthcare it was about 2 million,” and “agriculture tends to decreased”; these show problems with sentence construction, articles, and verb forms. Capitalisation at the start of sentences is inconsistent, and spacing before punctuation is also faulty. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, such as “agriculture fell to about 2 million,” and build a wider range of controlled sentences using comparisons and time clauses. Proofreading for sentence boundaries and punctuation will also improve clarity.

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