Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph below illustrates the number if jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors incldes manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare.

Overall, the information were reported every 20 years and were counted in millions. The sector kept on being on the rise comaratively was manufacturing and the sector which was on a decline since the beginnign was Agriculture.

Initially, Manufacturing was the top of the graph with 15 millions jos in the year 1960. The number spiked after 20 years reacihing upto 20 millions. Manufacturing was still at the top, retail and agriculture were at the same number with around 7 millions jobs. Eventhough the two job sectors started with the same number , the jobs in retail grew every 20 years while, jobs in agriculture kept on being on a decline.

In the starting years, the lowst number of jobs were at healthcare sector with jobs being around 3 millions, but over the years, the jobs kept on increasing. Every 20 years the jobs for healthcare were reported to rise and finally being tied together at around 16 millions in the year 2020.

In conclusion, the jobs were being reported every twenty years, beginning at 1960 to ending at 2020. The jobs kept on fluctuating over the years with manufacturing remaining at the top since the beginning.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million jobs in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and healthcare reaching about 16 million by 2020. However, the overview contains a major misreading: manufacturing did not keep rising or remain the leading sector; it peaked in 1980 and then fell, while retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million in 2020. The claim that manufacturing remained at the top is therefore inaccurate. Some comparisons are useful, including the contrasting paths of retail and agriculture, but the account is incomplete and occasionally imprecise—for example, retail and agriculture were both about 6 million in 1960, not 7 million. A clearer, accurate overview of the main changes would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. This helps the reader follow the general subject, and phrases such as “over the years” and “In conclusion” signal connections between ideas. However, progression is weakened by repetition: the final paragraph repeats that figures were reported every twenty years and that manufacturing remained at the top, rather than adding a useful comparison. Some links are awkward or unclear, as in “Eventhough the two job sectors started with the same number,” where the reference to the sectors could be more precise. Organise the body around contrasting trends and use linking phrases to show those contrasts accurately, rather than repeating the time interval.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “decline,” “increasing,” and “fluctuating,” and the reader can generally understand which industries you mean. However, the range is limited and several choices or collocations are inaccurate for describing a line graph. “The sector kept on being on the rise” is awkward, while “spiked” suggests a sharper increase than the data show. Repeated use of “jobs” and “number” also makes the description less precise. There are noticeable spelling errors, including “incldes,” “beginnig,” and “reacihing,” which reduce clarity and control. Aim for concise, conventional reporting language such as “rose steadily,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “stood at,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including a contrast with “Even though the two job sectors started with the same number,” and most of the intended meaning can be understood. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently in sentence construction, agreement, articles, and number forms. For example, “The information were reported” has incorrect subject–verb agreement, and “15 millions jobs” uses an incorrect plural form. The sentence “the jobs kept on increasing” is understandable but is followed by the awkward construction “finally being tied together.” There are also punctuation and spacing problems, such as the comma before “jobs in agriculture” after “while.” Practise accurate simple sentences first, then build longer comparisons with controlled clauses.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.