Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph gives information related to the number of employment in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, Four types of jobs are demonstrated in the picture including, Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare with their economy trends. Manufacturing takes a highest number of employment before their downward while Retail and Healthcare jobs started from low proportion and end with highest economy sectors and agriculture jobs recorded lowest proportion of economy in 60 years.

To begin with, Manufacturing jobs starts from 15 millions in 1960 which slightly rose to 20 million in 1980 which consistently decreased thereafter. However, In 2000 it was recorded about at 17 millions and 13 millions in 2020. Moreover, Agricultural employment first recorded approximately 6 millions in 1960 which consistently decreased thereafter. In 1980 it was near to 4 millions until 2000 remained same while in 2020 it was 3 millions which was the lowest numbers of jobs recorded in whole time periods.

Similarly, Retail jobs sector started from about at 6 millions in 1960 which considerable increased to 10 millions in 1980 and 15 millions in 2000 and 16 millions in 2020. Finally, In 1960 the Healthcare sector recorded the lowest employment was about at 3 millions which slightly increased to 5 millions in 1980 while markedly rose about at 11 millions in 2000 and 16 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

The response addresses the task with a clear overview and reports the main patterns: manufacturing peaks before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture remains the smallest sector by the end. It also supports these points with figures across the period. Most values are close to the chart, but there are some inaccuracies: agriculture is about 3 million in 2020, not 3 million after being described as 2 million in the chart, and healthcare begins at about 2 million rather than 3 million. The overview’s claim that retail and healthcare end as the “highest economy sectors” is imprecise, since both finish at around 16 million and share the top position. More exact comparisons would make the summary more consistently precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouping the declining sectors and the rising sectors. This gives the reader a sensible route through the data, and linking expressions such as “To begin with,” “Moreover,” and “Similarly” help signal progression. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the overview’s broad claims are not always followed by precise comparisons. The repeated “which” clauses also make several sentences cumbersome, while “Finally” introduces healthcare without a particularly clear contrast or connection. To strengthen cohesion, use more varied sentence patterns and make comparisons explicit—for example, note that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses relevant topic vocabulary, including “Manufacturing,” “Agricultural employment,” “consistently decreased,” and “markedly rose,” so the main trends are understandable. However, word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision. Phrases such as “number of employment,” “highest number of employment,” “low proportion,” and “highest economy sectors” do not express the intended ideas naturally; “number of jobs” or “employment levels” would be clearer. “Considerable increased” also uses the wrong form, and “recorded” is repeated where simpler verbs such as “stood at” or “reached” would be more fluent. Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than adding formal-sounding phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

The response attempts a range of sentence forms, including clauses linked with “which” and time contrasts, but control is inconsistent. Errors include subject–verb agreement in “Manufacturing jobs starts,” missing or misplaced articles in “Manufacturing takes a highest number,” and awkward sentence construction in “the Healthcare sector recorded the lowest employment was about at 3 millions.” Several sentences join a trend and its figures without a clear grammatical structure, and capitalization after full stops is inconsistent (“However, In 2000”; “Finally, In 1960”). These problems sometimes make the reader pause, although the intended trends can generally be understood. Build accuracy by checking agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries, and vary the structures without relying so heavily on “which.”

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