Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given line graph illustrates the figure of jobs in different sector of the economy in US from 1960 to 2020 where the data is calibrated in millions.

In general, there was a significant declined in the proportion of people employed in agriculture field, while upward trend could be seen in the figure of healthcare field.

As per graphical data is concerned, only 6 millions labours were worked in the sector of retail in 1960, whose figure kept on rising till 2000, having 15 millions specifically and reached its peak in 2020 with 16 millions employed, whereas agriculture experienced considerable decline over the period, whose number decline from 5 millions to 3 millionsafter overlapping the figure of healthcare in 1975 respectively.

probing ahead, there were only 2 millions employed working in the field of healthcare whose value surged in the upcoming years and reached its peak in the year of 2020, accounted by figure 16 millions eventually while, the highest proportion were found in the figure of manufacturing in 1960 with 15 millions whose values went on falling before the two decades and reached it lowest value in 2020, having 13 millions workers before intersecting retail and healthcare sectors in the year of 2005 and 2015 respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify two important overall patterns: agriculture declines, while healthcare rises, and you report several relevant figures, including manufacturing’s peak of 20 million in 1980 and healthcare’s 16 million in 2020. However, the overview is incomplete because it omits the major rise in retail and the fact that retail and healthcare finish level at about 16 million. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: agriculture starts at about 6 million, not 5 million, and the graph does not show it overlapping healthcare in 1975. The manufacturing description also misses its rise from 15 to 20 million before falling. To strengthen the response, summarise all four sectors’ main trajectories accurately and use comparisons that are clearly supported by the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details about the sectors. This gives the reader a basic progression, and contrast markers such as “while” and “whereas” help connect comparisons. However, the final two paragraphs contain very long sentences that combine several trends and comparisons, making the sequence difficult to follow. Phrases such as “probing ahead” do not clearly signal the next point, and “whose figure” has an unclear reference. Grouping the information more deliberately—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and using shorter sentences would make the organisation clearer. The overall arrangement is coherent, but some linking and referencing are mechanical or imprecise.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “surged,” “considerable decline,” and “reached its peak.” These choices show an effort to vary your language. However, several expressions are unnatural or imprecise for this task: “the figure of jobs,” “proportion of people employed” when the chart gives job numbers, and “only 6 millions labours were worked.” There are also word-form and spelling issues, such as “significant declined” and “millionsafter.” Some repeated use of “figure” and “value” makes the description less precise. Aim for standard collocations such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in agriculture,” and “rose to,” while checking spacing and plural forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including complex comparisons with “while” and “whereas,” and the main trends are generally understandable. However, some grammatical errors recur in agreement, articles, and verb forms. For example, “there was a significant declined” should use a noun after the article, while “only 6 millions labours were worked” has problems with plural marking and sentence construction. In “the highest proportion were found,” the subject and verb do not agree, and “reached it lowest value” needs a possessive form. Several sentences are also overloaded with clauses, which makes punctuation and grammatical relationships harder to control. Use shorter sentences and check subject–verb agreement, articles, and possessives during revision.

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