Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

A glance at the line graph illustrates the number of employment in four different sectors in the United States between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, Jobs in healthcare and retail has increased significantly in six decades while agriculture sector has seen sustained decline in those years. The manufacturing sector experienced considerable fluctuations, but employment in this sector eventually declined.

Starting from Healthcare sector, in 1960 least number of jobs has been offered compared to other sector but in next two decaded it surpassed the agriculture, offering 5 million job oppurtunities to US people, and finally, in 2020, offering more than 15 million jobs. On the other hand, retail sector offered more than 5 million jobs in 1960 and the gap between retail and healthcare sector ultimately narrowed down in 2020 offering same number of jobs.

Manufacturing sector offered 15 million jobs in starting year and increased in next two decades but in the end, in 2020, offered less than 15 million jobs. Furthermore, Agriculture sector has steady fall between 1960 and 1980 and then experienced plateaued for next 20 years and ultimately offers approximately 2.5 million jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare and retail rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The key comparisons are also represented, including healthcare’s low starting point and the narrowing gap with retail by 2020. Most figures are broadly consistent with the graph, though “same number” in 2020 is a slight overstatement: healthcare and retail are both about 16 million, so this is a reasonable approximation. The agriculture endpoint is given as approximately 2.5 million rather than about 2 million, another small imprecision. To make the report more fully developed, state the important endpoint rankings explicitly and compare the scale of growth in healthcare and retail with manufacturing’s decline.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about healthcare and retail, then manufacturing and agriculture. This gives the reader a coherent account, and transitions such as “On the other hand” and “Furthermore” help signal relationships. The progression is not always fully smooth, however: the healthcare and retail comparison is combined in a long paragraph, while the final paragraph shifts between two sectors without a clear comparison. Some linking phrases also feel formulaic. For stronger cohesion, group the rising sectors together and the declining or fluctuating sectors together, and use clearer references when comparing their values—for example, specify which two sectors had similar employment in 2020.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “sustained decline,” “considerable fluctuations,” “surpassed,” and “plateaued.” These choices communicate the main patterns, and the meaning remains clear despite some inaccurate or awkward expressions. For example, “number of employment” is not a natural collocation, “offering jobs” is less precise than describing employment levels, and “experienced plateaued” uses the wrong form. There are also spelling errors in “decaded” and “oppurtunities.” Aim for more precise chart language and check spelling: “number of jobs,” “employment rose to,” and “remained stable” would fit this report more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentences, including contrast and time clauses, as in “while agriculture sector has seen sustained decline” and “in the end, in 2020.” The overall meaning is generally understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. Subject–verb agreement is inconsistent in “Jobs in healthcare and retail has increased,” and articles or plurals are missing in phrases such as “in 1960 least number” and “other sector.” Tense choices also shift awkwardly between past and present, for example “has been offered” and “ultimately offers” in a report about historical data. Use the past simple consistently for the period, and check agreement, articles, and plural forms when revising.

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