Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The graph illustrates the comparison of four different sectors of economy in the different years. It showed that citizens had tremendous amount of job of marketing in the last 1960. Nevertheless, by the time, this job has reduced only to five percent not more than. However, when we look at the agriculture sector. We observe that it had not gain the popularity that time and also not in the contemporary age. The main reason is that people are doing those jobs that are beneficial for them in the future. In the primitive times, It courses like marketing, online businesss and digital marketing was all-pervasive. Nowadays, individuals are also taking interest in the

business due to its international and financial advantages. Conversely, several people studied in the agriculture. Moreover, there is also very few tendency of people in the agricultural fields. They believe that technology has improved and they don't have to do anything. The machines can do all the human work. This is the psychology of people that is changed due to the artificial intelligence. Besides that, other two sectors such as healthcare and retailing are also gaining the popularity. The healthcare sector is because people are aware about the flaws of the junk food. Moreover, the retailing is because it is like hot cake in the market

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response makes a few broad references to the sectors, but it does not provide a reliable summary of the graph. The claim that marketing jobs fell “to five percent” is inaccurate: manufacturing declined from about 20 million in 1980 to 13 million in 2020, while retail rose from 6 to 16 million. Agriculture did remain the smallest sector, but its figures are not reported clearly. Healthcare and retail are described as gaining popularity without the key comparisons or figures, and the discussion of junk food, online business, artificial intelligence and people’s motivations is not supported by the chart. A clear overview should identify manufacturing’s rise and subsequent fall, the growth of retail and healthcare, and agriculture’s decline, then support these trends with accurate data.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 3.5

There is some attempt to connect ideas using words such as “Nevertheless,” “However,” “Conversely” and “Moreover,” and the response generally stays with the four sectors. However, the information does not progress in a clear, chart-based order. It moves from manufacturing to agriculture, then to explanations about business and technology, before mentioning healthcare and retail, so comparisons between the series are difficult to follow. Several transitions introduce unsupported causes rather than link reported data. The response is also presented as one continuous paragraph, with no distinct overview or organised detail. Grouping the main trends into an overview and two comparison paragraphs, and using linking phrases to show changes over time, would make the progression clearer.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response attempts a range of vocabulary, including “contemporary age,” “international and financial advantages” and “artificial intelligence,” but much of this language is unsuitable for describing a statistical graph. Some phrases are unclear or unnatural, such as “tremendous amount of job of marketing,” “not gain the popularity” and “very few tendency.” “Hot cake in the market” is an informal idiom and does not precisely describe employment figures. Spelling is also inconsistent, as in “businesss.” Use precise terms for trends and quantities instead of speculative or conversational language. For example, describe a sector as having “increased steadily” or “declined to approximately 2 million,” and use “employment” or “number of jobs” consistently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response includes both simple sentences and attempts at longer structures, such as “The main reason is that people are doing those jobs that are beneficial for them in the future.” Some basic sentence patterns are understandable, but errors in tense, agreement, articles and sentence boundaries recur. For example, “It showed” shifts tense unnecessarily when describing a graph, while “it had not gain” has an incorrect verb form. “There is also very few tendency” has a number-agreement problem, and “when we look at the agriculture sector. We observe” incorrectly separates a dependent opening clause from its main clause. Capitalisation is inconsistent in “It” mid-sentence. Practise accurate present-tense descriptions and check each sentence for complete clauses and agreement.

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