Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The graph depicts the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The four sectors are manufacturing, retail, agriculture, and healthcare.
A constant increase was observed in retail and healthcare sector. Retail has increased by 4 millions in 1960 to 1980, 5 millions in [redacted phone], and 2 millions [redacted phone]. However, in healthcare, it was 3 million ([redacted phone]), 7 millions (1980 - 2000), and 5 millions in 2000 to 2020.
on the other hand, the numbers were declined in manufacturing (increased by 5 millions in 1960- 1980, approx declined by 5 millions in [redacted phone], and 2000- 2020) and agriculture (it goes down by 3 millions in [redacted phone], remail constant in 1980 -2000 and a slight dip if 1 million in [redacted phone]).
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0
You identify all four sectors and report several relevant changes, including manufacturing’s rise to 20 million before falling and agriculture’s overall decline. However, the response is substantially incomplete: it has 111 words, below the required 150, and it gives no clear overview of the main comparisons or final ranking. Some figures are also inaccurate or unclear. Retail rises from 6 to 10 million, not “by 4 millions in 1960 to 1980” (the intended change is understandable), while manufacturing falls from 17 to 13 million between 2000 and 2020, not by about 5 million. The task is therefore addressed only minimally. Add a concise overview and accurately compare the sectors’ endpoints and major turning points.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response has a basic sequence: it introduces the graph, discusses the two rising sectors, then contrasts them with manufacturing and agriculture. This grouping helps the reader follow the broad trends. However, progression is limited because there is no distinct overview, and the final paragraph combines two sectors in a long, crowded sentence. The transition “on the other hand” is useful, but the links within the manufacturing description make it difficult to tell which period each change refers to. Capitalisation at the start of the paragraph and clearer sentence boundaries would also improve flow. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview, and two focused detail paragraphs, using time periods consistently.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant topic vocabulary such as “sectors,” “increased,” “declined,” and “constant,” so the main trends can generally be understood. However, the range is limited and some word combinations or forms are inaccurate, including “a constant increase was observed in … sector,” “the numbers were declined,” and “a slight dip if 1 million.” These choices make parts of the report awkward or unclear. There is also repetition of basic change verbs rather than more precise descriptions of rises, falls, and stability. Aim for accurate collocations and a wider set of trend language, such as “rose steadily,” “fell,” “remained stable,” and “reached a peak,” while ensuring that each phrase matches the data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response includes simple statements and some attempts to combine information, but the range of sentence structures is limited and errors occur frequently. For example, “Retail has increased by 4 millions in 1960 to 1980” has problems with tense, number, and the construction used to describe a change. “The numbers were declined” uses an incorrect passive form, while “it was 3 million” has an unclear reference to healthcare jobs. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, particularly at the start of the final paragraph. Use past simple consistently for the historical data, check subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms, and divide long descriptions into complete, clearly punctuated sentences.
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