Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the data about the number of jobs in four different economic sectors across US for the period 1970 to 2020.

Overall, the number of jobs in healthcare and retail showed a gradual increase over time and reached the highest figure in all four sectors. Whereas the manufacturing sector had more jobs than any other sector, it finished with a lower number than the above-mentioned sectors. The agriculture sector, after a gradual decrease, remained almost the same and had the lowest number in the end.

To begin with, the healthcare and retail sector had almost 2 million and 6 million jobs in 1960. This number increased to approximately 16 million by 2020 for both. The manufacturing sector had 15 million jobs in 1960 and reached its highest number of 20 million in 1980. But after the continuous fall from 1980 onward, it had a lower number of jobs than the previously mentioned sectors, about 13 million in 2020.

The agriculture sector had the same number of jobs as retail sector in 1960 that is almost 6 million. This number only declined after that and had the lowest number of 20 million jobs in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad contrast between rising healthcare and retail employment, declining agriculture, and manufacturing’s rise followed by a fall. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million in 1980 and ending at about 13 million. However, the opening gives the period as 1970–2020 rather than 1960–2020, and the final agriculture figure is seriously misreported as 20 million instead of about 2 million. The overview also says healthcare and retail both reached the highest figure, although healthcare and retail are tied at around 16 million in 2020. These inaccuracies weaken coverage of key features. Check each series against the graph and state the main comparisons precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs describing the sectors. Phrases such as “To begin with” and “after that” help signal progression, and the reader can generally follow the comparisons. However, the final paragraph ends abruptly, and its reference to “This number” is not fully clear because it follows a sentence comparing agriculture with retail. “Whereas” also begins a sentence fragment after the overview’s first sentence. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together is a sensible approach, but make the links between figures explicit and ensure each paragraph develops a complete comparison.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “gradual increase,” “continuous fall,” “reached its highest number,” and “declined.” These expressions help describe trends and comparisons. Some wording is imprecise or repetitive, however: “the data about the number of jobs” is less direct than “the number of jobs,” and “number” is repeated frequently where “employment” or “figure” could vary the phrasing. “Across US” is also an awkward collocation, while “above-mentioned sectors” sounds formal but does not clearly identify the comparison. Aim for concise, natural chart language and use sector names consistently so that the reader can distinguish the series easily.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the relative clause in “after a gradual decrease, remained almost the same” and the time phrase “after the continuous fall from 1980 onward.” Most sentences communicate the intended trend, but some grammatical choices reduce accuracy. “Whereas the manufacturing sector had more jobs…” is a dependent clause presented as a sentence, and “the healthcare and retail sector” has a number-agreement problem because it refers to two sectors. The phrase “that is almost 6 million” also needs clearer punctuation or a different construction. Review sentence boundaries and agreement, while retaining the varied structures you already attempt.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.