Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the knowledge about number of jobs in four sectors in US economy overtime period of 60 years. All sectors started in same year that is 1960, Retail and Agriculture both started with 5.5 million people, Healthcare with 2 million and Manufacturing with 15 million people. When we look at manufacturing jobs, it gain tremendous increase of people in duartion of [redacted phone] same happened with retail and healthcare jobs moreover, agriculture jobs started to drop in number. In era of [redacted phone] manufacturing jobs started to fall towards 16 million, Retail jobs gained almost 5 million people, Healthcare jobs got benefit of 6 million people except agriculture jobs which remained steady in this epoch. In interval of [redacted phone] major changes happend manfucturing jobs line graph intersected with retail and healthcare jobs line facing drop in number neverthless reatil, healthcare jobs accomplished same number of people and agliculture jobs started to decline.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.0
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource5.0
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.0
Overall5.0

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify all four sectors and describe several broad trends, including manufacturing’s rise to 1980 followed by decline, retail’s growth, and agriculture’s overall fall. However, the response only partially selects and reports the main features: it lacks a clear overview of the most important end-point comparison, where retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, and it does not clearly state that healthcare rises steadily throughout. Some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing falls to about 17 million by 2000, not 16 million, and the claim that its line intersected with both retail and healthcare in 2000–2020 is not supported by the figures. A concise overview and more precise comparisons would make the report more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly chronological order, moving from the starting figures through 1960–1980, 1980–2000 and 2000–2020. This gives the reader some sense of how the data changes over time. However, there is no clear paragraphing or distinct overview, so the main message is not separated from the year-by-year details. Linking expressions such as “moreover,” “except” and “nevertheless” are used, but some connections are awkward or do not clearly show the relationship between the trends. The final sentence also combines several sectors and changes in a way that is difficult to follow. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview and two detail paragraphs, and use simpler, more precise links.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “started to drop,” “remained steady” and “decline,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, which sometimes makes the meaning unclear. For example, “the knowledge about number of jobs” is not a natural way to introduce a graph, while “jobs gained people” and “jobs got benefit” do not express changes in employment appropriately. There are also noticeable spelling errors, including “duartion,” “happend,” “manfucturing” and “agliculture.” Use standard trend language consistently, such as “employment rose,” “the number of jobs fell” and “remained stable,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt to describe changes across several time periods and use some longer sentences, but the range of sentence structures is limited and complex sentences are often faulty. Errors in articles, prepositions, verb forms and agreement appear throughout, as in “in US economy overtime period,” “it gain tremendous increase,” and “manufacturing jobs started to fall towards 16 million.” Several sentences run together without clear punctuation, particularly the final sentence, making the relationships between ideas difficult to understand. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses. For example: “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then fell to 17 million in 2000.” Check tense consistency and sentence boundaries when proofreading.

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