Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph illustrates the information regarding the number of jobs in the US in four sectors of economy between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, the manufacturing sector jobs were the highest in 1960. Jobs in retail, healthcare and agriculture sectors were lower in number than the manufacturing jobs. In 2020, the jobs in healthcare and retail sectors inceased significantly, whereas, the jobs in manufacturing and agriculture decreased by the end of period.

In 1960, there were 2 million jobs in healthcare sector, 6 million jobs in retail and agriculture industry and 15 million jobs were marked for manufacturing. With the passage of time in 1980, the number of jobs for healthcare, retail and manufacturing increased, Comparatively, agriculture jobs number declined to 3 million in 1980.

The jobs in retail and healthcare seemed to increase steadily over the period between 1980 and 2020, peeking at 16 million in 2020. Whereas, the manufacturing jobs number decreased over the period and reached to 13 million in 2020. No major change in agriculture jobs number was seen over the period between 1980 and 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main sectors and give a relevant overview: manufacturing starts highest, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls overall. The opening figures are also accurately reported, and you note manufacturing’s decline to 13 million. This covers the task well, but some key comparisons are less fully developed. For example, the overview does not mention that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, jointly the highest figures, and the account of 1980–2000 omits the important rise in retail and healthcare and the manufacturing peak in 1980. Also, “peeking at 16 million” appears to describe both rising sectors, although retail reaches 15 million in 2000 and healthcare 11 million. Include these turning points and distinguish the series more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear four-part structure, moving from an introduction and overview to earlier and later data. The time-based progression makes the information easy to follow, and phrases such as “With the passage of time” and “over the period between 1980 and 2020” help signal chronology. However, some links are mechanical or unclear. “Whereas” begins a sentence fragment after the retail and healthcare sentence, and “No major change” is added without a clear link to the preceding comparison. The overview also groups sectors broadly rather than setting up the comparisons developed later. Use complete linked sentences and organise the body around contrasting trends—for example, rising retail/healthcare versus falling manufacturing/agriculture—to make progression more controlled.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “sector,” “declined,” “increased steadily,” and “reached,” so the trends are generally understandable. There are also attempts at more descriptive language, such as “with the passage of time.” However, some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or repetitive: “jobs number” is unnatural, “peeking” is the wrong form and meaning for reaching a high point, and “jobs were marked for manufacturing” is imprecise. “Inceased” is also misspelled. Prefer standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “stood at,” “rose to,” and “peaked at.” More precise vocabulary would help distinguish a rise, a fall, a plateau, and a final value without relying repeatedly on “jobs” and “number.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex forms, including the overview contrast with “whereas” and the time clause “With the passage of time in 1980.” Most meanings remain clear, but some grammatical and punctuation errors persist. In “the number of jobs for healthcare, retail and manufacturing increased, Comparatively,” the comma splice and capitalisation disrupt the sentence; “Whereas, the manufacturing jobs number decreased” is a fragment. Articles and prepositions are also inconsistent in phrases such as “in four sectors of economy” and “reached to 13 million.” Aim for complete sentences, consistent past-tense reporting, and more accurate noun phrases, such as “the number of jobs in manufacturing.” These corrections would improve control while preserving your range of structures.

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