Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of opportunities in four section such as manufactoring, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the US economy between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, manufacturing department had the highest amount of jobs till 2000. while the retail and health care continue to rose and agriculture sector saw decline in early 1960 and then flactuated throughout years.

In 1960, manufacturing sector, the proportion of jobs it as 15million and it increased to 20 million in 1980. After that it fell to around 17 million in 2000 and continued to fall and reached around 13 million jobs. Agriculture start at 6 million jobs and than down to around 4 million in 1980 and it remain same till 2000 and than decrease to around 2 million.

In 1960 retail and health sector opportunities for people start at around 6 million and 3 million respectively. These sector jobs continued to rose. in 1980 health had 5 million and retail had 10 million jobs. In 2000 retail saw his higest growth wit increase of 5 million and reach 15 million jobs. in 2020 both retail and healthcare had same amount of jobs for people in the US.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You cover all four sectors and report the main overall patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. Several figures are also accurately compared, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980, and retail and healthcare reaching the same level in 2020. However, the overview is not fully precise: manufacturing was the largest sector through 2000, but by 2020 retail and healthcare were both higher. The description of agriculture as fluctuating is also unclear, since it falls and then remains stable before declining again. Healthcare’s rise to 16 million is not stated explicitly. Make the overview more exact and develop the final comparisons with key figures.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs grouping manufacturing with agriculture and retail with healthcare. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. Sequencing is generally logical, with changes described from 1960 through 2020, and phrases such as “After that” help signal progression. Some connections are less smooth or precise, however. The overview’s “while” begins a new sentence after a full stop, and the final paragraph shifts between sectors without always making the comparison explicit. Repeated use of “and then” also makes parts of the account feel list-like. Use clearer linking between paired trends and ensure punctuation supports the intended relationships.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “increased,” “fell,” “reached,” and “same amount,” so the trends are usually understandable. However, the range and control are limited by repeated general terms such as “jobs” and “sector,” as well as several inaccurate or informal choices. “Proportion of jobs” is not the best description of an absolute number, while “department” and “opportunities for people” are imprecise in this context. Spelling errors such as “manufactoring,” “flactuated,” and “higest” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “employment,” and “employment level,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the reader can generally understand the sequence of changes. Some grammatical errors nevertheless affect clarity and control. For example, “the proportion of jobs it as 15million” has an incomplete and incorrectly formed clause, while “These sector jobs continued to rose” has problems with agreement and verb form. Tense and sentence boundaries are also inconsistent, as in “In 2000 retail saw…” following a full stop before “in 2020.” Articles, plurals, and punctuation need more reliable control. Practise forming complete comparison sentences, such as “Manufacturing employment stood at 15 million in 1960 and rose to 20 million by 1980,” then check each sentence for subject–verb agreement and tense.

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