Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph shows information abot the number of different jobs in four different sectors of the economy in the US throughout 60 years, between 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail sectors accounted for the joint-highest numbers by the end of time period, followed by manufacturing, whereas agriculture represented the lowest jobs number.

In 1960, manufacturing sector constituted the highest figure of job numbers, at 15 million, and reached its peak around 1980, at 20 million, the figure declined subsequently until it reached almost 13 million in 2020. Retail sector ranked second, at 6 million, after that the figure recorded a rapid growth until it about 16 million in 2020. Agriculture was on the third place in 1960, at 6 million, but unlike retail, agriculture figure declined progressively until it reached roughly 3 million in 2020.

Finnaly, healthcare sector experienced substantial increase from about 3 million in 1960 to 16 milion in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall pattern: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks and then declines, and agriculture finishes lowest. The key manufacturing figures and the final retail and healthcare levels are also reported accurately. This gives the response a clear, relevant summary. However, some details are incomplete or imprecise: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 3 million, and agriculture falls to about 2 million by 2020 rather than roughly 3 million. The overview could also make the major comparison clearer: retail and healthcare both finish at around 16 million, while manufacturing is lower. More precise reporting of these changes and a fuller comparison of the four series would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the sectors. The sequence from 1960 through to 2020 is generally easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “Overall,” “whereas,” and “subsequently” help connect ideas. However, the final healthcare sentence is separated by “Finnaly,” although it belongs naturally with the other sector details, and the body paragraph groups several trends into a long sequence that can feel crowded. Some references, such as “the figure” and “the number,” are not always specific about which sector they describe. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer references, would make progression more controlled and comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “reached its peak,” “declined,” “rapid growth,” and “substantial increase.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the response avoids relying entirely on basic words such as “went up” and “went down.” However, several collocations and word forms are unnatural, including “the lowest jobs number,” “ranked second,” and “the figure recorded a rapid growth.” There are also spelling errors in “abot,” “Finnaly,” and “milion.” These do not prevent understanding, but they reduce precision and control. Aim for standard chart language such as “number of jobs,” “stood at,” and “rose steadily,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use both simple and more complex sentence forms, including clauses linked with “whereas,” “but,” and “until.” Most of the trends remain understandable, and the past tense is generally appropriate for the period shown. Some grammatical errors remain, particularly with articles and sentence construction: “manufacturing sector” needs an article, and “until it about 16 million” is missing a verb. In “the figure declined subsequently until it reached,” the structure is understandable, though the sentence becomes lengthy and would benefit from clearer punctuation or division. There is also inconsistency in how phrases such as “the figure” are connected to their subjects. Review articles and ensure each clause has a complete verb structure while retaining your attempts at complex sentences.

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