Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph elucidates the information about the count of jobs in millions in four sectors of the economy in the United States from the year 1960 to 2020.

At the first glance,it is clearly observed that maximum number of jobs were in manufacturing sector being 15 millions in 1960 which surged to 20 millions in 1980 and the count dropped to less than 15 millions in 2020.Moreover,in the initial year the number of jobs in retail were nearly 6 millions which kept on escalating and the count reached to approximately 16 millions in the final year.

Moving towards the remaining information,it is apparent that about 6 millions jobs were in agricultural sector in 1960 whose number declined to around 3 millions after 20 years and remained constant till next 20 years and further decreased slightly to about 2 millions in the year 2020.Furthermore, the healthcare sector had least count of jobs which was less than 5 millions in 1960 but it increased dramatically over the years and reached to more than 15 millions in the year 2020 in the United States.

Overall,it is evident that significant count of jobs were in manufacturing sector throughout the given time period except in 2020 in the United States.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You cover all four sectors and identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. The overview also notes that manufacturing leads until the final year, which is a useful comparison. Most figures are consistent with the graph, though “less than 15 millions” for manufacturing in 2020 is less precise than the plotted value of about 13 million, and the claim that manufacturing had the most jobs “throughout” is qualified by the exception you mention. Healthcare’s rise is described, but its ending level is not compared directly with retail, which also reaches about 16 million. More precise comparisons and a clearer account of the final-year ranking would strengthen the report.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response is organised into an introduction, two detail paragraphs and a concluding overview, and the information generally progresses logically from manufacturing and retail to agriculture and healthcare. Linking expressions such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “Overall” help signal relationships between points. This clear structure supports the reader, although some transitions sound formulaic, particularly “Moving towards the remaining information,” and the overview repeats the manufacturing point already made in the first detail paragraph. The comparison between retail and healthcare could also be brought together rather than separated, since both finish at approximately the same level. Use more direct transitions and group related trends to make the progression more flexible and less repetitive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “surged,” “declined,” “remained constant,” and “increased dramatically,” which communicates the main movements. However, some less common choices are not fully natural or precise: “elucidates the information” is an awkward way to introduce a graph, while “count of jobs” and “least count” are repeated and sound unnatural in this context. There are also collocation and form issues in phrases such as “6 millions jobs” and “maximum number of jobs.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit the precision and naturalness expected at a stronger level. Prefer standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “the highest figure,” and “stood at.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.5

You attempt a mix of sentence forms, including clauses describing change over time, as in “whose number declined … and remained constant,” and most of the meaning remains clear. Some grammatical and punctuation errors persist, however. For example, “At the first glance,it” needs an article adjustment and a space after the comma; “15 millions” and “6 millions jobs” show problems with plural forms; and “the healthcare sector had least count” is missing an article. Several long sentences join multiple trends, making control less secure. Check articles, singular/plural forms and punctuation, and divide longer descriptions where needed. More consistently accurate sentences would make the range of structures more effective.

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