Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The line graph illustrates the frequency of employment across four sectors of the economy in the United States of America in 1960 and 2020.

overall,the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors is progressively . while manufacturing unit is cosistantly declining and agriculture domain is remain same .

The frequency of retail division is 6% in 1960 which is increasing slightly 9% in 1980. where as the healthcare sector is steadily rose 3% in 1960 to 5% in 1980.Manufacturing feild is repeaidly declining from 15% in 1960 to 20% in 1980.in conterst to agriculture sector which is 6% in 1960 declining to 4% in 1980.

In 2000 the manufacturing outlays is drop from 16% to 14% in 2020 significantly , agriculture unit is dramacticaly drop from 4% in 2000 to 3 % in 2020. As a comparion 2000 ,to retail and heathcare sectors incrementally raising from 15 % to 17% in 2020 , and 15% in 2000 to 16% in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several broad movements, including growth in retail and healthcare and a fall in agriculture. However, the overview is unclear and partly inaccurate: manufacturing does not decline throughout, as it rises from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980 before falling. Agriculture also does not remain the same; it decreases overall. Several figures are misreported, and percentages are used even though the graph shows jobs in millions. The account gives limited attention to the main comparisons, especially that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020. To improve, provide a clear overview of the contrasting trends and select accurate figures to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has some organisation: it begins with an introduction, attempts an overview, and then refers to changes across the years. However, the progression is difficult to follow because the overview is unclear and the body moves between sectors and dates without a consistent pattern. Connectors such as “where as,” “in conterst,” and “As a comparion” are used inaccurately or awkwardly, so they do not reliably show how the information relates. Some sentences also combine several comparisons, making the relationships harder to track. A clearer structure would be an overview followed by one paragraph comparing manufacturing with agriculture and another comparing retail with healthcare, using accurate linking phrases.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You attempt a range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “steadily,” “declining,” and “incrementally raising.” However, word choice and spelling errors are frequent enough to make parts of the report difficult to understand. Phrases such as “frequency of employment,” “manufacturing outlays,” and “agriculture domain” are not natural descriptions of job numbers, while “dramatically drop” and “progressively” are used imprecisely. Several spellings, including “cosistantly,” “repeaidly,” and “dramacticaly,” also reduce clarity. Use straightforward, accurate terms such as “number of jobs,” “sector,” “rose,” “fell,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more connected sentences, but control is inconsistent and errors often make the meaning difficult to follow. For example, “the number of jobs in retail and healthcare sectors is progressively” is incomplete, and “agriculture domain is remain same” has faulty verb structure. Tense and agreement are also problematic in “the healthcare sector is steadily rose,” while sentence boundaries and punctuation are frequently unclear. These issues fit a limited range in which attempts to form longer sentences are often unsuccessful. Practise complete subject–verb structures and consistent past-tense reporting, for example, “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 5 million in 1980.”

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