Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The provided ghraph shows information about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. The data is given in millions.

Overall, huge rised in job have seen in healthcare and retail sectors

After taking a quick glance on ghraph, it is evident that in 1960 manufacturing was a very common job 15 million which were followed by Retail and Agriculture with 6 million while, Retail got a huge jump in 2000 around 15 million and Agriculture goes very down to 2 million jobs. Healthcare jobs was the least with 2.5 million in 1960.

In 1980 Manufacturing jobs was at very high numbers around 20 million whereas, it fell down to 17 million in 2000 and in 2020 it comes to second position with 13.5 million. healthcare jobs was at it least stage in 1960 while it was at top position in 2020 with 16.1 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns, including manufacturing’s peak at about 20 million in 1980, its subsequent decline, and healthcare’s rise to the highest level by 2020. However, the overview is incomplete: it mentions growth in healthcare and retail but does not clearly summarise the contrasting decline in agriculture or the changing positions of the sectors. Some figures are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare starts at about 2 million, not 2.5 million, and manufacturing is about 13 million in 2020. The account also omits retail’s steady rise to around 16 million and agriculture’s fall from 6 to 2 million. The response is 139 words, below the 150-word minimum, which limits the detail provided. Develop a clearer overview and report the main trends more accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction, an attempted overview, and a paragraph describing figures. This gives the reader some sense of how the information is organised. However, progression is limited: the final paragraph moves between years and sectors without a consistent sequence, making comparisons harder to follow. The overview is also a fragment rather than a complete sentence, and links such as “whereas” and “while” are not always used to connect the ideas clearly. Organise the details by trend—for example, describe the rising sectors together, then the declining ones—and use clear topic sentences and accurate linking to show how the figures compare.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing data, including “fell,” “jump,” “least,” and “top position,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices or forms are unnatural for an academic report, such as “huge rised in job,” “very common job,” and “goes very down.” The spelling error “ghraph” appears twice, and “jobs” is sometimes used where “employment” or “number of jobs” would be more precise. Aim for standard trend language and accurate collocations, such as “rose substantially,” “declined steadily,” and “had the highest figure.” This will make the comparisons clearer and more formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt some longer sentences and use comparison structures, including “whereas” and “while,” but control is inconsistent. Errors occur frequently in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction: “huge rised in job have seen” and “Healthcare jobs was” are difficult to process. The sentence beginning “After taking a quick glance” also combines several comparisons without clear grammatical boundaries, while commas are often placed incorrectly around “whereas” and “while.” Most sentences rely on simple patterns, and the attempted complex structures are often faulty. Practise writing one clear comparison per sentence, checking subject–verb agreement and past-tense forms, and use full stops to separate distinct points.

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