Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph compares amount of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US. It is covers the period from 1960 to 2020, Over a span of 60 years. additionally the number of data is done in amounts of times.

Overall, It is evident that the oppertumities in career are increased in retail and healthcare sectors however, while the manufacturing or agriculture occupation is declined. The figures indicate a notable change in different jobs prefrences.

Regarding retail jobs started at around above 5 per year. And then its increased sharply inven 1960 and this jobs eas reached almost 15 in 2020. Eventually reaching a level equal to that of healthcare by the end of the timeframe. similarly, The healthcare carrer comence less 5 and its arived in above 15 in 2020.

In contrast, The manufacturing jobs amount was higest level career espects when its cross 15 in1960 but after that its began decreased when its gose under 15 in 2020. On the side, the agriculture career occupations was also started in above 5 in 1960 but its also decrease 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the overall contrast between growth in retail and healthcare and decline in manufacturing and agriculture, and you make relevant comparisons, including that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels. However, several details are inaccurate or unclear: retail rises gradually from about 6 in 1960 to 16 in 2020, rather than increasing sharply in 1960, and manufacturing peaks at 20 in 1980 before falling to about 13, a key stage you omit. Agriculture falls from about 6 to 2, but the final figure is not specified. The overview is relevant, though “manufacturing or agriculture occupation is declined” obscures the trends. Select the main turning points and report them accurately to make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs for rising and falling sectors. This helps the reader identify the broad comparisons. However, progression within the paragraphs is often difficult to follow because ideas are joined with awkward or incomplete transitions, such as “Regarding retail jobs started…” and “On the side”. Connectors including “And then”, “Eventually” and “similarly” are used mechanically, and punctuation and capitalisation interrupt the flow. Some references, such as “its” and “this jobs”, are also unclear. Organise each sector’s figures in chronological order and use straightforward links such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile” to make comparisons easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to describing trends, including “increased”, “declined”, “sharply” and “equal”, so the reader can understand the general direction of change. However, the range is limited and many choices or forms are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning difficult to interpret. Phrases such as “amount of jobs”, “number of data is done in amounts of times” and “oppertumities in career” are not natural ways to describe this graph. There are also frequent spelling errors, including “oppertumities”, “prefrences” and “comence”. Use precise, repeated task vocabulary such as “number of jobs”, “employment” and “rose/fell”, and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

There are attempts to combine ideas and describe changes over time, but sentence structures are limited and errors occur frequently, sometimes making relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “It is covers the period” has an unnecessary verb, while “its increased sharply inven 1960” has problems with the verb form and sentence construction. Agreement and pronoun use are also unreliable in “this jobs eas reached” and “the manufacturing jobs amount was higest”. Several fragments begin with “And then” or “In contrast” without a complete, well-formed sentence. Practise accurate simple past forms and build complete sentences first; then add subordinate clauses while checking subjects, verbs, articles and punctuation.

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