Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The bar graph indicates the number of jobs (in millions) in four important sectors of the US economy between the years 1960 to 2020. These four sector includes Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare. Over this 60 year period, the number of jobs increased in Retail and healthcare sector, while they decreased in Agriculture and Manufacturing. The main reason behind this decline could be the advancements in technology in these sectors which repalced the number of humans.

In 1960, the maximum number of jobs were in Manufacturing sector (15 Milllion), and jobs in this sector remained at maximum till [redacted phone], when the retail sector surpassed this, and then, followed by healthcare sector. And hence, at the end of 2020, the jobs dropped to around 13 Million which was third highest in that year. Retail and Healthcare both had equal number of jobs in 1960 (around 6 M), but they followed opposite patterns, jobs in retail sector increased over time and ended with the around 16 M of jobs in 2020, which was the joint maximum in that year along with Healthcare. Whereas, the jobs in Agriculture decreased over time from 6 M in 1960 to 2.5 M in 2020. Whereas in Healthcare sector, a steady growth is seen. In the beginning (1960), it contributed least with 2.5 M jobs. But over time, this value increased every year and ended up with around 16 M jobs in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad trends: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture and manufacturing fall overall, and you compare the sectors at the beginning and end. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020, and retail and healthcare at about 16 million in 2020. However, the overview is weakened by saying manufacturing “remained at maximum till 2006-2007”: the graph only gives four points, and manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 before declining. The claim that healthcare increased “every year” is also unsupported by the four-year-point data. The explanation about technology replacing workers is speculative and not shown in the graph. Focus on describing the plotted changes and make the overview more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a generally understandable progression, moving from an introduction and overview to comparisons of individual sectors. Linking expressions such as “while,” “Whereas,” and “But over time” help signal contrasts and change. However, the organisation is not consistently controlled: the second paragraph combines several sectors and time points in a long sequence, making some comparisons harder to follow. “Whereas” is also used to begin a sentence without a clear paired construction, and the manufacturing discussion includes an unsupported intermediate date that interrupts the chart’s four-point timeline. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with one clear comparison in each paragraph, would make the progression more logical and cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a suitable range of task vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “surpassed,” “steady growth,” and “joint maximum,” which helps describe trends and comparisons. The meaning is generally clear, but some word choices and collocations are awkward or imprecise: “number of humans” is not a natural way to describe employment, and “ended with the around 16 M of jobs” is cumbersome. There are also spelling and form errors, such as “repalced” and “Milllion,” alongside inconsistent use of “sector” and “sectors.” These do not prevent understanding, but they limit precision and control. Prefer concise, conventional chart language and check spelling and word forms before submitting.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentence forms, including contrast clauses with “while” and “whereas,” and most of the message remains understandable. Some grammatical errors persist, particularly with agreement, articles, and sentence construction. For example, “These four sector includes” should use a plural noun and verb, while “in Retail and healthcare sector” needs a more accurate article or plural form. The phrase “ended with the around 16 M” also has an unnecessary article, and “Whereas in Healthcare sector, a steady growth is seen” is an awkward fragment-like construction. Long sentences joined by several clauses make these issues more noticeable. Use shorter, clearly structured comparisons and check subject–verb agreement and article use.

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