Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

THE GRAPH COMPARES THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE NUMER OF JOBS IN FOUR DIFFERENT SECTOR OF THE ECONOMY BETWEEN YEAR 1960 AND 2020

OVERALL,THE RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE SIGNIFICANTLY THROUGH OUT THESE YEARS ,MEANWHILE MANUFACTURING COMPANIES DECLINED AFTER YEAR 1980,AGRICULTURE ALSO DECREASES FROM YEAR 1960 TO 1980 BUT STAYED STEADLY FROM YEAR 1980 TO 2010 SLIGHTLIY DECREASING IN 2020.

RETAIL AND HEALTHCARE STEADLY INCREASED THE NUMBER OF JOB THROUGHOUT THESE YEARS,

MANUFACTURING HAD 15 MILLIONS JOBS IN YEARS 1960 THAT INCREASED AND PEAKED IN YEAR 198-0 BUT DRASTICALLY DECREASED FROM YEAR 1980 TO 2020.

RETAIL INCREASED IN JOB FROM 6 MILLION TO TO ALMOST 16 MILLION IN THE SPAM ON 60 YEARS.

HEALTHCARE HAD LEAST JOB IN YEAR 1960 BUT GRADULLY INCREACED BY YEAR 2020 TO 16 MILLION JOBS.

AGRICULTURE STARTED AT 6 MILLION JOBS BUT SAW A SLIGHTLY DECLINE TILL 1980 AND KEPT ITS JOB RATIO ALMOST SAME TILL YEAR 2020.

MANUFACTURING COMMENSE AT 15 MILLION AND PEAKED IN YEAR 1980 THAN DRASTICALLY DECLINED IN COMING YEARS

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main movements and provide a clear overall summary: retail and healthcare rise, manufacturing falls after its peak, and agriculture declines. Several figures are also accurately reported, including manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and peaking at 20 million in 1980, and healthcare reaching 16 million by 2020. This covers the key features well. To make the account more complete and precise, compare the sectors at the end: retail and healthcare both finish at about 16 million, while agriculture is around 2 million. Also, agriculture did not remain almost unchanged all the way to 2020; it fell from about 3 million in 1980 and 2000 to 2 million in 2020. The overview’s trends are relevant, though some details need clearer development and accuracy.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The response includes an opening, an overview, and details about each sector, so the reader can recognise the intended structure. However, progression is weakened by repetition: manufacturing’s peak and subsequent decline are described twice, and the rise in retail and healthcare is repeated in both the overview and the next sentence without adding much detail. The information is also presented as a sequence of separate statements rather than grouped comparisons, making relationships between sectors less clear. Some linking is attempted with “meanwhile,” “but,” and “also,” but connections are often mechanical or unclear. Organise the body into two focused comparisons—for example, rising sectors versus declining sectors—and use accurate references such as “both sectors” to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “declined,” “peaked,” and “slight decline,” and the main meaning is generally recoverable. However, the range is limited and several word-choice or spelling problems reduce precision, such as “steadly,” “slightliy,” “gradullly,” and “commense.” Some phrases are also unnatural or unclear, including “the retail and healthcare significantly through out these years,” “job ratio,” and “in the spam on 60 years.” Use standard collocations such as “the number of jobs rose,” “remained stable,” and “over the 60-year period.” More accurate spelling and a wider set of trend expressions would make the report clearer and more appropriate to an academic summary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences, and the reader can usually understand the intended trends. However, control of sentence structure is inconsistent. The overview fragment “the retail and healthcare significantly through out these years” lacks a clear verb, while “Manufacturing had 15 millions jobs in years 1960” has problems with articles, number agreement, and sentence construction. Tense and comparison patterns also need attention, as in “peaked in year 1980 than drastically declined.” Capitalisation and punctuation are inconsistent, with most of the response written in capitals and several sentences lacking clear punctuation. Practise complete sentences with a subject and verb, and use past-tense forms consistently when describing the historical data.

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