Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line paragraph shows thw number of jobs in four sector - Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture,Healthcare- in the USA between 1996 and 2020 Overall manufacturing was the largest employer at the start but decline after 1980,while Retail and Healthcare both saw steady growth and overtook Manufacturing by 2020 .Agriculture remain the smallest sector within a slight decline . In 1960 ,Manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs,the highest all of the sectors. it rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980,then fell to around 17.5 million in 2000 about the 14 million in 2020.Retail staring about a 6 million im 1960 ,the same in agriculture .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify the main pattern that manufacturing led initially, peaked in 1980, and then declined, while retail and healthcare grew and agriculture remained the smallest sector. These are relevant features, and several figures are included. However, the report is only partial: it stops during the retail description and gives no account of retail’s later rise, healthcare’s substantial growth, or the final comparisons. Some figures also differ from the chart: manufacturing is about 17 million in 2000 and 13 million in 2020, rather than 17.5 and 14 million. The opening also gives 1996 instead of 1960. The response is below the required 150 words; develop the missing trends and comparisons to cover the task more fully.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5
There is a recognisable overall structure: an introduction, an overview beginning with “Overall,” and a move into specific figures. The overview groups the sectors by their broad trends, which helps the reader follow the main message. However, the response ends abruptly while describing retail, so the information does not progress through the full period or provide a concluding comparison. Several ideas are crowded into one long overview sentence, and punctuation and spacing make the links between clauses difficult to follow. For example, “decline after 1980,while” needs clearer separation. Use distinct paragraphs for the overview and detailed comparisons, and organise the details consistently by sector or by time period.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some appropriate chart vocabulary, including “largest employer,” “peak,” “steady growth,” and “slight decline,” which communicates the broad trends. The range is nevertheless limited, and several noticeable spelling or word-choice errors reduce clarity: “thw,” “staring,” and “im” appear in the data description, while “the highest all of the sectors” is not a natural phrase. “Line paragraph” is also an inaccurate description of the visual; “line graph” is the appropriate term. Aim for precise trend language and check spelling carefully. Useful alternatives include “reached a peak,” “fell to,” and “remained the smallest sector,” used with accurate figures and clear comparisons.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, including a contrast between manufacturing’s decline and growth in other sectors. However, errors are frequent and sometimes make relationships between ideas unclear. Examples include “Agriculture remain” instead of “Agriculture remained,” “Manufacturing accounted for 15 million jobs, the highest all of the sectors,” and the incomplete construction “Retail staring about a 6 million.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation are also inconsistent, as in “1960 ,Manufacturing” and the run-on overview. Use past-tense verbs consistently for this historical chart, check subject–verb agreement, and build complete sentences around each figure. Shorter, accurately punctuated sentences would make the trends easier to understand.
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