Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The graph describes the comparision between four different job sectors in the US from the year 1960 to 2020. The comparisson is in jobs in million which is on the Y axis with the passing year represented in the axis.
In the year 1960, the sector with most jobs was manufacturing with 15 million jobs in the US whereas, both retail & agriculture tied with a little over 5 million jobs. Healthcare sectore had the least opportunity with around 2.5 million jobs.
In the year, 1980, a increase is observed in every sector except for agriculture which decreased from over 5 million to bellow 5 million. The sector with the most jobs was Manufactuting.
After the 1980s till 2020 we can see steady increase in both retail & healthcare. The number of jobs rose from 10 & 5 million to 15 million which confrims the increase over time. On the other hand, both manufacturing & agriculture had a fall where the manufacturing sectore had a more downward slope. Jobs in manufacturing sectore landed to around 13 millions & 2 millions for agriculture.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
You identify several relevant features, including manufacturing as the largest sector in 1960 and the later growth of retail and healthcare. However, the response only partially summarises the graph: it lacks a clear overall overview of the main changes and endpoint comparison. Some details are inaccurate or unclear. In 1980, agriculture fell to about 3 million, not merely “below 5 million,” and manufacturing peaked at 20 million; this peak is not reported. By 2020, retail and healthcare were both around 16 million, rather than retail being 15 million. The statement that every sector except agriculture increased in the first period is broadly correct, but the key trends and figures need to be selected and reported more precisely.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a generally understandable sequence: it begins with 1960, moves to 1980, and then describes changes through 2020. Paragraphing and time markers such as “In the year 1960” and “After the 1980s” help the reader follow this progression. The contrast signalled by “On the other hand” is also useful. This coherent arrangement meets the lower-band expectations and shows some features of stronger progression. However, the final paragraph combines several trends and figures without clearly separating the two rising sectors from the two declining ones, and the overview is missing. Use a brief opening overview, then organise the details into clear comparisons, with each sentence linking figures to the relevant trend.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “tied,” “steady increase,” and “downward slope,” so the main ideas are usually understandable. However, the range is limited and several noticeable spelling and word-choice errors reduce precision: “comparision,” “comparisson,” “sectore,” “Manufactuting,” and “confrims.” Some expressions are also unnatural for describing a graph, such as “least opportunity” and “landed to around.” Prefer precise terms for employment figures and trends, and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a sector as having the “fewest jobs,” and say that its figure “fell to” a stated level. These improvements would make the account clearer and more appropriately academic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrastive construction beginning “On the other hand,” and the response is generally possible to understand. However, errors occur in sentence structure, articles, agreement, and punctuation. For example, “a increase” should be “an increase,” while “the passing year represented in the axis” is an incomplete and awkwardly structured clause. The sentence beginning “In the year, 1980” is punctuated incorrectly, and “Jobs … landed to around 13 millions” has problems with verb construction and plural form. Some sentences also join information in ways that make the relationships less clear. Practise accurate comparative sentence patterns and check articles, verb forms, and sentence boundaries.
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