Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In the years between 1960 to 2020 there are different oppourtunities of jobs in different sectors in US.Manufacturing is the sector in which every year there are more jobs as compared to others sectors.In 1960 there are 15 million people got that opportunity to work in that sector.The rate was the higher in the upcoming years and it gone from 15 million to 20 million.In the next years between 2000 to 2020 the rate gone lower as compared from the previous years.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies manufacturing as the leading sector initially and reports its rise from 15 million jobs in 1960 to 20 million in 1980, followed by a decline. However, it covers only one of the four sectors and gives no overall summary of the main changes or comparisons across the period. The claim that manufacturing had more jobs “every year” is inaccurate: by 2020, retail and healthcare were both at about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. The response is also substantially below the required 150 words, leaving the task only minimally addressed. To improve, summarise all four trends and highlight the key shift in which sectors had the most jobs.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The ideas follow a basic time sequence: the response begins in 1960, describes a rise to 1980, and then mentions a later decline. This gives the reader a simple line of progression. However, the response is presented as one continuous paragraph and does not organise information into a clear introduction, overview, and detail section. Connections between time periods are also vague, as in “In the next years between 2000 to 2020,” and the repeated use of “sector” and “rate” does little to distinguish the information. Use separate paragraphs and clearer links, such as “By contrast” or “From 1980 onwards,” while grouping related trends.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The response uses a small set of relevant terms, including “Manufacturing,” “jobs,” “sector,” and “million,” so its basic subject is understandable. It also attempts to describe change with “higher” and “gone lower.” However, the vocabulary is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “opportunities of jobs” does not clearly describe the number of jobs, and “the rate” is not the best term for employment figures. “Every year” also overstates what the chart shows, which is data at four points in time. Use precise chart language such as “employment,” “number of jobs,” “rose,” and “fell,” and vary descriptions of trends across all four sectors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response communicates a basic sequence of events, and it attempts to combine ideas using phrases such as “as compared to” and “between 2000 to 2020.” However, sentence structures are mostly simple, with limited variety, and several grammatical errors make the account less clear. For example, “In the years between 1960 to 2020” uses an incorrect paired construction; write “between 1960 and 2020.” In “there are 15 million people got that opportunity,” the verb forms do not fit together, and “it gone from 15 million to 20 million” needs a correctly formed past-tense verb. There are also missing spaces after full stops. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and use a mix of simple and compound sentences.

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