Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The line chart compares the number of jobs across four economic sectors-manufacturing,retail,agriculture and healhcare in the United States between 1960 and 2020.
Overall,healthcare and retail grew significantly to reach highest numbers by 2020,while agriculture and manufactring declined steadily saw an eventual downward trend after an initial rise.
In details manufacturing startes 15 million jobs in 1960,peaked 20 milion in 1980 and 13 million in 2020.Agriculture starts with 6 millon in 1960 and now 2 million in 2020.Retail start with 6 millon and contineously rise 1960 to 2020 or reached to 16 million.Healthcare job start with 3 million in 1960 in 1980 reached in 5 million and from 1980 to 2000 it grew very fast and reached 16 million jobs in 2020.
conculion; both healthcare and retails are grew througout the years and produced more job opportunity but on the others hand the agriculture and the manufacturing declined throughout the year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You identify the chart’s subject and give a relevant overview: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture falls and manufacturing declines after an earlier increase. Several key figures are accurate, including manufacturing’s peak at 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020, and agriculture’s decline from 6 to 2 million. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: healthcare began at about 2 million, not 3 million, and it reached about 11 million in 2000, rather than the response’s unclear claim that it reached 16 million. The overview also says manufacturing declined steadily, although it first rose. Include clearer comparisons at the intermediate years to make the account more complete and precise.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0
The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, a paragraph of figures, and a concluding statement. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the information. However, the body groups all four sectors into one long sequence, and some links between dates and figures are difficult to follow, particularly in the healthcare sentence. The conclusion repeats the overview rather than adding a useful comparison. Cohesive phrases such as “By contrast” or “Meanwhile” could help distinguish the rising and falling sectors, while separate sentences or grouped paragraphs would make the trends easier to track. Overall, organisation is clear enough, but connections are sometimes mechanical or unclear.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “peaked,” “declined,” “reached,” and “grew,” and the reader can generally understand the intended trends. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors reduce precision: “produced more job opportunity” is not a natural way to describe employment figures, and “reached to 16 million” is awkward. There are also noticeable misspellings such as “healhcare,” “manufactring,” and “conculion.” Use accurate sector names and standard trend language consistently, for example “the number of jobs rose to” or “employment fell to.” This would make the description more fluent and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple and more complex forms, including the contrast in “while agriculture and manufacturing declined” and the time sequence in the healthcare sentence. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some details hard to interpret. Examples include “manufacturing startes 15 million jobs,” “Retail start with 6,” and “both healthcare and retails are grew.” The healthcare sentence also lacks clear grammatical links between the years and figures. Practise past-tense reporting structures such as “Manufacturing started at 15 million, then peaked at 20 million,” and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation. More consistently accurate sentences would improve clarity.
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