Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This graph provides the information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States between [redacted phone]. These four sectors included manufacturing, retailing, agriculture and healthcare jobs.

The graph helps us to easily asses the job market progression and scope over the years, to create a list.

It clearly marked the manufacturing business at the top, although its job market declined from 20 million in 1980 jobs to 13 million jobs in 2020 followed by retailing though in 1960 job market was not stronger, nevertheless it has increased steadily and created 15 million plus jobs by the year 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and mentions manufacturing and retail, including the manufacturing peak of 20 million in 1980 and its fall to 13 million by 2020. However, it does not provide a clear overview of the main trends and omits agriculture and healthcare entirely, so the account is only partial. The claim that manufacturing was “at the top” is not true throughout: by 2020, retail and healthcare were both around 16 million, above manufacturing. The retail figure is also described as “15 million plus” rather than the chart’s approximate 16 million. The response contains 90 words, below the required 150, which further limits its coverage. Include all four sectors, compare their overall trajectories, and report key figures accurately.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic sequence from an introduction to a short discussion of manufacturing and retail, and the contrast marker “although” signals a relationship between trends. However, the second paragraph begins with an unclear statement about assessing the market “to create a list,” which does not advance the summary. The main comparison is packed into one long sentence, making the relationship between manufacturing’s decline and retail’s growth difficult to follow. The response also lacks a concluding overview and does not group the information into clear trend-based paragraphs. Organise the report into an introduction, an overview of the main changes, and concise detail paragraphs, using clear links such as “by contrast” and “meanwhile” where appropriate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant topic vocabulary, including “sectors,” “declined,” “increased steadily,” and “jobs,” so the reader can identify the general subject and direction of change. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural for describing a graph: “manufacturing business” and “job market” refer to broader concepts than the number of jobs in a sector, while “retailing” is less suitable than the chart label “retail.” The phrase “created 15 million plus jobs” also suggests new jobs were created, rather than reporting the sector’s total. There is some repetition of “jobs” and “market.” Use precise terms such as “employment,” “the number of jobs,” and “stood at,” and vary trend language without changing the meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple and more extended sentence forms, including a contrastive construction beginning “although.” Some basic sentence meaning is clear, but control becomes weaker in the long sentence about manufacturing and retail: the clauses are joined awkwardly, and the punctuation does not clearly separate the ideas. The phrase “between 1960-2020” also uses an unclear grammatical pattern for a time span; write “between 1960 and 2020.” In “in 1960 job market was not stronger,” the missing article and awkward comparison make the sentence difficult to interpret. Aim for shorter, complete sentences with clear subjects and verbs, and check articles, punctuation, and time expressions.

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