Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph displays the change in job market in the US throughout a span of 60 years between [redacted phone].

It can be seen that, in the earlier years, number of jobs in healthcare were relatively small which was around 2.5 millions. As it was the age of industrialization, the number of jobs in manufacturing was 15 millions which is the highest in that year. The number of jobs in both retail and agriculture was similar which is a little above 5 millions.

As industrialization increased, number of jobs in manufacturing rose to an all time high to 20 millions in the year of 1980. But it began declining right after 1980 and dropped to a little above 15 million in the year of 2000. The declining continued untill 2020 and dropped below 15 millions in the year of 2020.

The number of jobs in retail sector increased as time passed by. For example, it increased from a little above 5 millions to 10 millions from the year of 1960 to 1980. Then it rose to 15 millions in the year 2000. The growth became a little slow after that, which can be observed that the number of jobs rests slightly over 15 millions in the year if 2020.

As the industrialization increased, people moved away from agriculture. A negative trend can be observed in the graph for the number of jobs in agriculture through the given timespan. Initially the number of jobs were slightly above 5 millions, which dropped to below 5 millions (around 2.5 millions) in the timespan of 60 years.

At the initial phase, number of jobs in healthcare were very small (below 5 millions). Since healthcare is an ever-growing sector, the number of jobs are also increasing significantly. It can be observed that, the number of jobs rose to above 15 millions in the year 2020. The number is around 4 times bigger than what it initially was.

We can conclude that, as our civilazation is evolving, the jobs in the field of retailing and healthcare. So if anyone is thinking about a career path, they should consider career in retail and healthcare and try to avoid manufacturing and agriculture.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise and agriculture falls. Several figures are also reported accurately, including manufacturing at 15 million initially and 20 million in 1980, and retail reaching 15 million in 2000. However, some details are imprecise or inaccurate: manufacturing was about 17 million in 2000, not “a little above 15,” and healthcare reached about 16 million in 2020, rather than merely “above 15.” The overview is weakened by the final career advice, which is not requested and replaces a concise summary of the key comparisons. The explanation that industrialisation caused the trends is also speculative. Select the most important comparisons and report them neutrally and precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response is arranged in a generally understandable sequence, with separate paragraphs discussing manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. Time markers such as “Initially,” “Then,” and “after that” help readers follow changes. This clear paragraphing and progression are strengths. However, the organisation is somewhat mechanical because each sector is treated in turn, and the response lacks a focused overview near the beginning that groups the main trends. Some linking is repetitive, particularly the repeated use of “As industrialization increased,” and the concluding career advice does not follow naturally from a data summary. To strengthen cohesion, introduce the overall contrast between rising and falling sectors, then group related trends and use comparisons to connect them.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “declining,” “increased,” “rose,” and “negative trend.” These choices make the main movements understandable, and terms such as “timespan” and “initial phase” show some range. However, several expressions are imprecise or unnatural for a formal chart report: “change in job market,” “the growth became a little slow,” and “the number of jobs rests slightly over 15 millions.” There are also spelling errors, including “untill” and “civilazation,” and “retailing” is less suitable here than “retail.” Aim for precise collocations and avoid unsupported explanatory language. For example, describe figures as “stood at” a value and trends as “levelled off” or “continued to decline.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including time clauses such as “As industrialization increased” and comparisons such as “The number is around 4 times bigger than what it initially was.” Most of the meaning remains clear, but some grammatical errors recur. Articles and noun phrases are often incomplete: “number of jobs” should generally be “the number of jobs.” There are agreement and number problems in “the number of jobs were” and “15 millions,” and the sentence “the jobs in the field of retailing and healthcare” is incomplete after “We can conclude that.” Some punctuation is also unnecessary, such as the comma after “conclude that.” Review articles, subject–verb agreement, plural forms with numbers, and sentence completeness while retaining your varied sentence structures.

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