Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

US job market in multiple sectors has seen fluctuations since the 1960s which sets the tone of overall US economy with each passing year.Majorly since the 1960s up until the 1980s US experienced industrial revolution which increased the number of jobs in the manufacturing,retail and healthcare sector to a significant million which brought an inverse relationship on the agriculture sector.In the era of 80s and 90s manufacturing started to experience a downward trajectory whereas retail and healthcare sectors kept on increasing employement opportunities and on the other hand agriculture sector found stability.If we talk about the last 2 decades so since the 2000s the manufacturing sector which was once offering 20 million jobs in the 1980s was now offering jobs less than the healthcare and retail sector by 2020 which stand at approximately 16 million.Apart from that the agriculture sector in the US market has faced the maximum effect with now jobs being less than 5 million which potrays the dynamic effect Industrial revolution had on one partircular sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several important patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak before declining, retail and healthcare grow, and agriculture falls. You also make a useful comparison by 2020, when healthcare and retail are both around 16 million, above manufacturing. However, some details are inaccurate or too vague. The claim that manufacturing, retail and healthcare all increased to a significant level by 1980 overlooks that healthcare was only about 5 million, while agriculture fell to around 3 million. The statement that agriculture had the “maximum effect” is unclear, and saying it was below 5 million does not show its final value of about 2 million. A clearer overview and more precise reporting of key figures would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a broadly chronological order, moving from the 1960s–1980s to later decades, and linking phrases such as “whereas” and “on the other hand” help signal contrasts. However, it is presented as one long paragraph, so the overview and supporting details are not clearly separated. Several transitions are awkward or repetitive, including “Apart from that” and “If we talk about the last 2 decades,” and the final sentence introduces a broad claim about the industrial revolution rather than neatly concluding the data summary. Organise the response into a short introduction, an overview of the main trends, and one or two detail paragraphs. Use linking expressions to show specific comparisons rather than simply marking time.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary, including “downward trajectory,” “inverse relationship,” “stability,” and “approximately,” which shows an attempt to describe trends rather than repeat basic terms. Some choices, however, are imprecise or unnatural for a graph report: “sets the tone of overall US economy,” “increased … to a significant million,” and “maximum effect” do not clearly describe the figures. “Industrial revolution” is also an unsupported interpretation of the data, while “employment opportunities” is less direct than reporting job numbers. There are spelling errors such as “employement,” “potrays,” and “partircular.” Aim for precise trend language such as “rose to,” “declined to,” and “remained stable,” and check spelling and collocations carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt complex sentences and use contrast clauses, for example, “manufacturing started to experience a downward trajectory whereas retail and healthcare sectors kept on increasing.” This gives the response some structural variety, but long sentences are often difficult to follow because clauses are joined without clear punctuation. The opening runs several ideas together, and the sentence beginning “If we talk about the last 2 decades” contains an incomplete phrase before the main clause. There are also errors in articles and agreement, such as “the manufacturing, retail and healthcare sector” when referring to multiple sectors, and “which stand at approximately 16 million” after a singular subject. Break long sentences into shorter units, use consistent past-tense reporting, and check subject–verb agreement and punctuation.

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