Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the trend of employment in four different departments in America over the period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the highest number of jobs can be seen in the manufacturing area in year of 1980.The number of employment in retail sector is increased by 15 millon over a whole period.significant increase in agriculture department can also be seen and the jobs in the healthcare department decreased by 5 million in the first decade and then remained constant till 2000.In the the period from 2000 to 2020 it declined gradually.The retail department grew rapidly from 1980 to 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

The response identifies the chart’s subject and attempts an overview, but it reports several central features inaccurately, so the main trends are not reliably summarised. Manufacturing peaks at about 20 million in 1980, which is correctly noted, but retail rises by about 10 million overall, not 15 million. Agriculture declines from around 6 million to 2 million, rather than increasing significantly. Healthcare rises from about 2 million to 16 million; it does not fall by 5 million or decline after 2000. The response also omits most period-by-period comparisons and gives no supporting figures beyond the peak. It is 100 words, below the required 150. To improve, describe each series accurately and include key start, peak, and end values.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and then presenting an overview of trends. The use of “Overall” signals a summary, and the final sentence adds a comparison about retail. However, the overview combines several claims in a single paragraph without a clear sequence, and the inaccurate statements make the relationships between trends difficult to follow. There is no detailed paragraph to develop the information, and transitions between sectors are limited. The full stops are also missing in places, such as after “1980” and “period,” which interrupts the flow. A clearer structure would use an introduction, a concise overview of the main contrasts, and a body paragraph comparing the figures across the years.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

The response uses some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “trend,” “employment,” “increased,” “remained constant,” and “gradually.” This gives it a basic range of task-related language. However, several choices are imprecise or unnatural: “departments” is not the best term for economic sectors, “number of employment” is awkward, and “millon” is misspelled. “Significant increase” also misrepresents the agriculture trend, which falls. Repetition of “department” and “jobs” limits flexibility, while “grew rapidly” is not supported by the retail figures across the whole period. Use precise sector names and a wider set of accurate trend verbs, such as “declined,” “rose steadily,” and “reached a peak,” ensuring each description matches the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, including a sentence with “and then,” but the range is limited and errors are frequent enough to affect clarity. For example, “The number of employment in retail sector is increased” has problems with the noun phrase, article use, and verb form; a clearer construction is “Employment in the retail sector increased.” The sentence about healthcare also shifts between past and present forms (“decreased” and “remained”), and the final clause is difficult to connect to its subject. Missing spaces after full stops and inconsistent punctuation further weaken accuracy. Practise past-tense reporting and build complete, controlled sentences before combining trends with conjunctions.

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