Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.0)

THE GRAPH ILLUSTRATES PROVIDE SOME INFORMATION RELATED THE NUMBER OF VACANICIES IN FOUR DIFFRENT DEPARTMENT OF THE ECONOMY IN US BETWEEN 1960 TO 2020.

IN THIS GRAPH SHOWS THE DATA ABOUT JOBS IN MILLIONS IN US.THERE ARE MANY JOBS MANUFACTURING,RETAIL,AGRICULTURE AND HEALTH CARE.

THE DATA SHOWS 1960 TO 2020 AND NUMBER IN MILLIONS.

THE HIGHEST POINT TO RISE THE JOBS IN 1980 GROW TO 20MILLIONS AFTER THAT THERE ARE SLIGHT LOW.THE LOWEST POINT IN THIS GRAPH IN 2020 TO THE HEALTHCARE SECTOR.1980 TO 2000 THERE WAS STABLE.

AND OTHER RETAIL AND AGRICULTURE SECCTIONS SURGE INCRESE IN 1980 TO 2000 ND AFTER TAHT BOTH ARE CONVARGE IN LAST POINT IN 2020.MANUFACTURING SECTOR STARTING POINT IS 15 AND AND SLIGHT INCREASE IN 1980.AFTER TAHT THEY ARE GRADULLAY FALL.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.5

You identify the chart’s subject and mention several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 before declining, and agriculture falling overall. However, the response does not provide a clear, accurate overview of the main comparisons. The claim that healthcare is the lowest sector in 2020 is incorrect: healthcare and retail are both highest, at about 16 million. The statement that retail and agriculture converge in 2020 is also inaccurate. Several key changes are omitted, especially healthcare’s strong rise and retail’s steady growth. The response is 126 words, below the required 150, which further limits the detail reported. Develop a concise overview and support it with accurate comparisons across the four sectors.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response: the opening identifies the chart, and later sentences describe trends over time. Some sequencing is apparent in phrases such as “after that” and “in 1980 to 2000.” However, the ideas are not arranged into clear paragraphs, and the progression is difficult to follow because several points are compressed into long, loosely connected sentences. For example, the sentence beginning “And other retail and agriculture…” combines two sectors and multiple time periods without clearly distinguishing their trends. Repeated introductory statements about what the graph shows also use space without advancing the summary. Group related trends into paragraphs and use clear comparisons and references to guide the reader.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant chart vocabulary, including “highest point,” “slight increase,” “gradually fall,” and sector names, so the reader can recognise the general topic. However, the range is limited and several word choices or spellings make the report less clear, such as “vacanicies,” “diff rent,” “sections,” and “converge” for the final values. “Surge increase” is also an awkward combination, and “department” is not the most suitable term for economic sectors. Aim for accurate, natural phrases such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in manufacturing,” and “rose steadily.” Check spelling carefully and avoid using trend words unless they precisely describe the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe changes over time, but sentence structures are mostly simple or incomplete, and errors frequently affect clarity. For instance, “The graph illustrates provide…” combines incompatible verb forms, while “In this graph shows…” lacks a grammatical subject. There are also problems with articles, agreement, and sentence boundaries, as in “the lowest point in this graph in 2020 to the healthcare sector.” The phrase “1980 to 2000 there was stable” does not form a complete, accurate sentence. Use a clear subject and verb in each sentence—for example, “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined”—and practise linking clauses with accurate punctuation.

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