Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US over a 20year period from 1960 to 2020.

overall, number of jobs by agriculture, retail and healthcare decreased over the period, while the manufacturing sector experienced a substantial increase.Notably, the amount of jobs in healthcare sector increased initially, but they fall down.

In 1960, agriculture sector generated 5tones job opportunities but steadily declined to 2tones over 2020. healthcare sector initially increased in 1980 to 2020 as compared to agriculture sector. While healthcare sector and retail have remains same all over the years.

In contrast, the manufacturing company generated 15tones in 1960, 20tones in 1980, but vin 2020 they fall down to 14tones. as a result , it vertook both other sectors znd became the largest producer of opportunities by the end of the period.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 3.0

The response identifies the chart’s subject and includes some relevant figures, such as manufacturing rising from 15 million to 20 million before falling, and agriculture declining. However, the overview substantially misreports the main trends: retail and healthcare generally increased, rather than decreased, and manufacturing did not finish as the largest sector; retail and healthcare both reached about 16 million in 2020, compared with manufacturing at about 13 million. The account also says healthcare rose and then fell, and that retail and healthcare remained unchanged, which conflicts with the data. Several key comparisons are therefore missing or inaccurate, leaving the task only partially addressed. The response is also two words below the required minimum. To improve, give an accurate overview first, then select a few reliable figures to support it.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is some basic organisation: an opening sentence is followed by an overview and then details about agriculture, healthcare, and manufacturing. Linking expressions such as “In contrast” and “as a result” show an attempt to connect information. However, progression is difficult to follow because the overview and body contain contradictory claims, and the paragraph about healthcare and retail combines trends without a clear sequence. The response also shifts between sectors without consistently comparing them across the same years. Use separate paragraphs for the overview and the main details, and group sectors with similar trends. Clear time-based comparisons—for example, 1960 to 1980 and then 2000 to 2020—would make the organisation easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The response uses some relevant chart vocabulary, including “illustrates,” “declined,” “increased,” and “generated,” so the topic is generally recognisable. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate or unclear. “20year period” is not an appropriate way to describe the full 1960–2020 span, while “tones job opportunities” and “manufacturing company” do not accurately describe the chart’s units or sector. “Fall down” and “producer of opportunities” are also unnatural in this context. These choices sometimes make the intended meaning harder to understand. Use precise terms such as “jobs,” “employment,” “sector,” and “million,” and choose trend verbs carefully to distinguish rising, falling, and remaining stable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts a mixture of simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast clause beginning “While” and a sentence using “but.” Some basic sentence meanings can be understood, but errors recur in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence boundaries. For example, “they fall down” does not maintain the past-time reporting, and “retail have remains” has incorrect agreement and verb form. The opening overview begins with lowercase “overall” after a full stop, while “in 1960” and “as a result” are also inconsistently capitalised. Several sentences run together without appropriate punctuation. Check subject–verb agreement and use past tense consistently for the historical data; then proofread capitals and full stops.

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