Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the quantity of jobs in four areas in the economical sector such as manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare from 1960 to 2020 in the US.

Overall, end of the trend retail and healthcare were much popular employment categories.

In 1960, 15 million jobs were available for manufacturing and with a sharp increase it reached at its peak (20 million). However, it waas the highest in numbers. By the year 2020, it gradually dropped and reached at almost 13 million. On the other hand, agriculture had approximiately 6 million jobs and throughout the journey there was downward trend. With a gradual fall it hit around 3 million which is the least number.

Admittedly, retail had 6 million of job and that was upwarding trend throughout the journey. During 20 years there was a sharp increase and finally by the 2020 it reached on 16 million. Whereas, healthcare started its journey from 2 million and the figure increased gradually over the period and touched the retail sector (16 million). In 2020, retail and agriculture were the most popular categories.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several key movements, including manufacturing peaking at 20 million before falling, agriculture declining, and healthcare rising to 16 million. However, the overview is unclear: “retail and healthcare were much popular employment categories” does not specify that they became the joint leaders by 2020, and the final sentence incorrectly says retail and agriculture were the most popular; agriculture was the smallest sector. Some important comparisons are also underdeveloped, particularly retail’s steady rise and healthcare’s catch-up with manufacturing. To strengthen the response, give a precise overview of the main changes and compare the sectors at the beginning and end without contradictory claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, with an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs that group the declining sectors and the rising sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, progression is weakened by the contradiction between the overview and the final sentence, and some linking phrases are awkward or do not clearly express the relationship between ideas, such as “Admittedly” and “Whereas.” The repeated use of “journey” also makes the account feel formulaic. Use clearer transitions such as “By contrast” and “Meanwhile,” and ensure the overview accurately previews the comparisons developed in the body.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant chart vocabulary, including “sharp increase,” “downward trend,” “gradually,” and “reached,” so the main movements are generally understandable. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, including “quantity of jobs,” “economical sector,” “upwarding trend,” and “touched the retail sector.” There are also spelling errors such as “waas” and “approximiately.” These issues limit precision, especially when describing comparisons. Aim for standard data-reporting expressions such as “number of jobs,” “economic sectors,” “rose steadily,” and “matched retail at 16 million,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including contrast clauses beginning “However” and “On the other hand,” and most of the intended meaning can be followed. However, errors in sentence construction and grammatical patterns occur repeatedly. For example, “Overall, end of the trend…” is missing a clear subject and article, while “it reached at its peak” and “it reached on 16 million” use incorrect prepositions. The sentence “During 20 years there was a sharp increase and finally by the 2020 it reached…” also has awkward tense and article use. Practise complete overview sentences and accurate patterns such as “reached a peak of,” “fell to,” and “by 2020.”

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