Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph provides the data of number of occupations in four economic sectors in United States, over the period from 1960 and 2020.

Overall, healthcare and retail show a significant growth, while manufacturing and agriculture experienced the drop. Manufacturing somehow goes up then it started falling steadily.

On the one hand, healthcare and retail rise gradually and stops at the same point just above the 15 millions. Showed growth over-all the period of time.

On the other hand, agriculture jobs from the initial stages experienced considerable drop and continue going down without being surged up. In addition to it, same happended with manufacturing, it although showed an increase in begining hitting 20 million then drop off steadily.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the broad contrast between rising healthcare and retail employment and declining agriculture, and you note manufacturing’s rise to a peak followed by a fall. However, the account is only partial and under-developed: it gives no figures for most years and misses important comparisons, such as healthcare and retail both reaching about 16 million by 2020, while manufacturing remained the largest sector until later in the period. The overview also says manufacturing and agriculture “experienced the drop,” which obscures manufacturing’s initial increase. The response is 118 words, below the required 150, leaving too little space to report the main features adequately. Add accurate figures at key points and explain how the sectors compare over time.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two body paragraphs grouped by rising and falling sectors. This gives the reader a basic route through the information, and phrases such as “On the one hand” and “On the other hand” signal the contrast. However, progression within the paragraphs is limited, and some linking is mechanical or unclear. For example, “Showed growth over-all the period of time” is a fragment whose connection to the preceding sentence is uncertain, while “In addition to it, same happended with manufacturing” does not clearly explain the relationship between the two declining trends. Develop each paragraph in a logical sequence, using clear comparisons and references to specific years.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “significant growth,” “experienced considerable drop,” and “hitting 20 million,” so the main trends are generally understandable. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or awkward for describing a graph. “Occupations” is not the right term for the number of jobs, “stops at the same point” is imprecise, and “without being surged up” is an unnatural expression. There are also spelling errors, including “happended” and “begining,” and “over-all” is not conventionally written this way. Aim for precise trend language and accurate collocations, such as “employment rose to,” “levelled off at,” and “declined steadily.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more extended sentence forms, and the overall meaning can usually be followed. However, control is uneven, with errors in sentence boundaries, verb forms, agreement, and articles. “Healthcare and retail rise gradually and stops” has a subject–verb agreement error, while “Showed growth over-all the period of time” is an incomplete sentence. The opening also uses the awkward construction “over the period from 1960 and 2020”; use “between 1960 and 2020.” In “it although showed an increase,” the placement of “although” disrupts the sentence structure. Practise writing complete sentences with consistent past-tense reporting, and check agreement and punctuation when joining clauses.

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