Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph tracks data on the number of employments in four distinct economical sectors in the US for a period of 60 years (i.e from 1960 to 2020).

Overall, significant fluctuations are noticable during the provided period.In which manufacturing and agricultral sectors reflects a dounward trend, whereas healthcare and retail sector boost considerably reflecting upwards trend during the provided period.

In 1960, manufacturing sector was at 15 millions of jobs which highly spiked to 20 millions in 1980 representing the highest figure in the entire duration. This was then gradually declining till approximately 13 millions of jobs in 2020. Furthermore, agricultural sector follows similar trend which stood at nearly 6 millions of jobs in 1960 falling nearly to 50% till 2020.

However, heathcare witnessed a drastic rose from nearly 3 millions of jobs in 1960 to just above 10 millions of jobs in 2000 afterthat it continued to increase upto nearly 16 millions of job in 2020 which was equall to tge reatil sector and the highest at the end. Moreover, retail sector have witnessed growth with 10 millions of jobs in 1980 to 15 millions in 2000.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline over the period, while retail and healthcare rise. The key manufacturing peak in 1980 and the equal endpoint of healthcare and retail at about 16 million are also reported, giving the summary a clear overview and relevant supporting figures. Most data are broadly accurate, but the agriculture description is imprecise: it falls from about 6 million to 2 million, rather than simply “nearly to 50%” by 2020. The retail account also omits its starting figure and endpoint trend, and the healthcare starting value is given as nearly 3 million rather than about 2 million. More complete coverage of these series would make the comparisons better supported and less generalised.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure, moving from an introduction and overview to manufacturing/agriculture and then healthcare/retail. This grouping helps the reader compare declining and rising sectors, and transitions such as “Furthermore” and “However” signal the shift between groups. The progression is not fully smooth, however: the overview sentence beginning “In which” is grammatically detached, and the final paragraph moves between healthcare and retail without giving a complete, balanced account of each. Some linking phrases, including “Moreover,” feel mechanical rather than showing a precise relationship. To strengthen the organisation, make each paragraph’s focus explicit and use comparisons to connect the series, while ensuring each trend is followed through to 2020.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of trend vocabulary, including “downward trend,” “spiked,” “declining,” “drastic rise,” and “continued to increase.” These choices make the broad movements understandable, and the response uses relevant terms for describing a graph. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “number of employments,” “economical sectors,” “sector boost,” and “witnessed a drastic rose.” Spelling errors such as “agricultral,” “heathcare,” and “reatil” also reduce precision. Aim for standard chart language and check spelling carefully; accurate, natural phrasing is more effective than using ambitious expressions that do not fit the context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “whereas” and “which,” and the main trends can generally be followed. However, errors in sentence construction and agreement recur. For example, “In which manufacturing and agricultural sectors reflects” is a fragment with incorrect agreement, while “retail sector have witnessed” has a subject–verb agreement error. There are also problems with articles, plurals and tense patterns in phrases such as “manufacturing sector was at 15 millions” and “it continued to increase upto.” Punctuation spacing is inconsistent, and “afterthat” should not be joined. Build more reliable sentence patterns first, then vary them; check agreement, articles, plural forms and sentence boundaries during revision.

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