Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-15

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

the graph illustrates information about the number of jobs in four sectors manufacuturing,retail,agriculture and healthcare sectors of the economy in the us between 1960 and 2020.

the given line graph shows the number of jobs in four sectors in 1960 manufacturing is 15 million and it's decliend in 2020 by 13 million.

retail sector is 1960 just started and in 2020 is incresed by 16 million.however agriculture sector 1960 7 million and in 2020 it is decliend by 3 million.

overall if we compaire only healthcare and retail is rapidly increse and compare to agriculture.

now aa days consumer more frequently use and buy from retail and healthcare which is increseing massively .

in 1980 manufecture sector is booming 20 million and other sectors are having more fall in comaparision to this.

have been more often 2020 all sectors are increseing but agriculture having more fall down

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify all four sectors and include some relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 13 million in 2020, and its peak of 20 million in 1980. However, the account is incomplete and several details are inaccurate: retail did not “just started” in 1960 (it was about 6 million), and agriculture was about 6 million in 1960 and 2 million in 2020, not 7 and 3. The overview is unclear and incorrectly says all sectors increased by 2020; agriculture declined, while manufacturing also fell after 1980. The explanation about consumer behaviour is unsupported by the graph. The response is 127 words, below the 150-word minimum; develop the key trends and comparisons using the remaining space.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is a basic attempt to organise the response, beginning with an introduction and including an “overall” statement, but the information does not progress in a clear, consistent order. The paragraphs are very short and separate related details—for example, manufacturing is described in one sentence, while its 1980 peak appears later. Comparisons are limited, and connectors such as “however” and “overall” do not always introduce a clear relationship between ideas. The final sentence is difficult to interpret and does not provide a clear conclusion. Group the sectors by trend, use a distinct overview after the introduction, and connect comparisons explicitly, such as contrasting the growth in healthcare and retail with the decline in agriculture.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is sufficient to identify the topic and sectors, and you attempt trend language with words such as “declined,” “increased,” and “booming.” However, the range is limited and several choices or spellings make the report less clear, including “retail sector is 1960 just started,” “rapidly increse,” and “fall down.” The phrase about consumers using and buying from retail and healthcare is not an appropriate description of the data and introduces an unsupported idea. Use precise chart-reporting expressions, for example, “stood at,” “rose to,” “fell to,” and “reached a peak.” Check spelling and choose words that describe the figures rather than speculate about their causes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response relies mainly on short, simple statements, with little accurate variety in sentence structure. Frequent errors in sentence formation and verb forms make some relationships difficult to understand. For example, “retail sector is 1960 just started and in 2020 is increased by 16 million” lacks clear grammatical structure, while “agriculture sector 1960 7 million” is missing a verb and necessary sentence elements. The sentence beginning “overall if we compare” also has an unclear subject and verb pattern. Use complete sentences with a subject and verb, and practise past-tense reporting forms such as “Retail employment rose from about 6 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.” Add punctuation and capital letters consistently.

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